secret
by Alexandra K3S
Summary: Every night a mysterious girl with her face hidden under a mask appeared at Kakashi's apartment and their carnal passion began...Now, when every thing went beyond what he expected, it was more than intimacy, what would Kakashi do?
1. Chapter 1

I don't really want to state anything for my first fanfic, just read and find out about it, thus, it will give you more surprise but I myself think it's quite a good story to read and it won't be long, I intend to write a short fanfic of about 13000 words. But, my English is really not good in comparison to many other authors in this site, so don't feel too disturbed when you're reading it, okay???

The language is quite strong and I rated M, explicit nudity.angst

It was a bit crazy and it's about Kakashi, my most favourite character in Naruto

Disclaimer: I don't own any Naruto's characters, they all belong to Kishimoto

**Chapter 1: Secret Part 1**

-You're late

The soft but muffled voice once again echoed around his huge and hollow department which was full of breeze at this very time, sending all the possible tingling sensation to the room's air, to his mind, to his body, to his goose-bump skin and to his spine since it started to resounding, making a strange effect in his heart. It twisted a little bit with joy and agony as well – a strange and ambiguous agony that he could not explain every time he saw her.

She came.

Yes, tonight would be a very short night

It was always like this every time she came, leaning on his window sill or sitting loosely on his bed, she backed against the moon. The silver light was flooding in his room through the large window but he could never see her face under that mask. Only her delicate, slender body was something he could ever have chance to fully contemplate and admire.

Her aromatic scent was also filling the air around him, sank him into some states of oblivion as his sense of smell was fully operating to take every trait of this passionate, alluring, and gentle tang into his lungs, the smell was so feminine but yet so unique, it only belonged to her and every single moment, he detected her presence, first by this odor and by his extreme ninja skills.

He didn't know yet, how long could he still smell this scent, how long could he still play this game? But one thing for sure, good thing never lasted long.

But she was there, teaching him to treasure every moment they could be together or every moment they could steal from the real world, the real life, yet stealthy feeling but it was so sweet, tempting and hard to resist.

It was fair enough, he was hiding his face for almost his life and to almost every one he met whether they were close to him or not so now, there was no reason for him to uncover her face, to know who she was. It was all in all a secret and he did not want to find out. In his mind, he knew that, if one day he could saw her face, they were never able to see each other again.

Sorry It can't be help!!!

He replied with a bit teasing tone in his voice. He traversed the room in his usual carefree manner; he never rushed or hurried, smoothly but dangerously appealing. Closing the window behind her, he sat down on the bed, making it sink under his weight and his back was again her. And on she would move closer to him, from behind, binding his eyes with the smooth silk ribbon, filling him with her warm presence. In this endless dark room, nothing could be seen; only senses were being activated to feel exactly what could not be felt under the normal conditions, to understand precisely what could not be heard under normal situations and to sense strongly the passion that could never be found in the normal experiences.

"I know you could see though the dark with your sharingan but please, don't do that" - she said shortly the first time she went here. Great, she knew about him, not everything but adequate while he did not know a damned thing about her. Why he agreed with this game in the first place, he did not know, at that time he could barely remember about an intolerable sentiment named "loneliness".

Under the mask, her voice was barely audible and even when the mask was off, she may have changed her voice that she couldn't be recognized any more. "Okay, suit yourself" – thought he in his give-up style. She came here for one thing and this was all he needed to fill up his emptiness, or may be her own hollowness.

Waiting for her to tie the silk ribbon around his own eyes, he sensed the bed sinking little by little towards his seat. But instead of a lithe cloth like usual, she enclosed him in a great embrace from behind, her supple breasts was pressed against his back suddenly transferring the welcomed warmth and electric shiver along his backbone, noticing that, she had just doffed her clothes. And now she was here on nothing else but her wonderful torso. He silenced for a few minutes and then slowly he asked:

- What's happened?

- Nothing

She responded the answer he already knew or they already knew. There were nothing like normal sense between them. It was just something to notice her that he knew her emotion, knew that something had happened to her and that's all.

A few more minutes passed by and she still hugged him tightly with her arms around his shoulder and her soft, fragrant flesh fully on his back, she would drive him crazy if she continued to do this any longer, and then he signed slowly before whispered in the darkness:

- You should cover my eyes, I would stop using sharingan but I can't stand opening my eyes to look at you.

She nodded too lightly to be noticed when groped beside her to take out a ribbon. She tied it around his eyes not too tight, not too loose, just enough to cover his sight. Then he gently turned around to face her, pulled her lightly but quickly into his lap, pressed his strong and tough chests against her tender ones, and there they were, so perfectly right. With all these stealthy and mistaken emotions, through all these nights, he didn't know why everything was so damned right when they were together…She was a mystery, she was a secret, she created the guilty feelings inside him, she brought back the worldly pleasure to him, she twisted his heart with outlandish melancholy with joy and utter bliss since he knew if there was nothing wrong, if she was just a normal girl and he was a normal man, she would never cover her face, hide her identity before him, but as long as she was there, in his arms or cuddled herself into his body, everything seemed perfectly right…

Capturing her compliant lips with his own, he enjoyed the luring sensation, as the kiss was always as mad as ever. Quickly as he explored her mouth with his tongue, he felt she sucked it with the same fervent manner that he gave to her. The softness of their oral fleshes wrestling turned him on as he tried to drink her soul from those mad kisses. Slowly, he trailed down her chin, her throat, her collarbone making her moan in pleasure. He tasted her thoroughly by his lips and he inhaled as much her sensual and saccharine scent as possible – the scent that had wandered inside him since the first night it appeared in his life. The scent he never had enough or feel bored of. Together with her flaccid and velvet skin, the scent was enhanced thousands of time as one of his hand was propping her back and the other was touching her, gliding on her skin with his fingertips only, traveling through the curve of her body, from her nicely round breasts, their nipples to her slender waist, to her tight and her inner thigh…All his touch made her tremble in a very sexy way as she tugged his vest's zip also with her shaking hand…And then he laid her down in the comfy bed, when he discarded his vest and his shirt onto the floor. When he moved his hands to his pants, he suddenly felt her hands stop him in the middle…

He didn't have to wait long when she unhurriedly undid his button and pulled its zip down. She gradually pulled the pant down his thigh, away from his feet and threw it onto the floor along with the others.

Fondling her breasts, he sucked them slightly and circled the nipples with his tongue and at the same time, he moved comfortably between her legs, pressing his hardness against her. Her long legs tangled around his waist.

Even though he couldn't see anything from the first day they made love; he knew that she was a very beautiful young girl. Her body seemed to be flawless with her age, she was tall, about 1m65, slender and had very nice curves, and her legs were long, supple but strong. She must be a ninja for sure as no normal girl had this type of strong and tempting body at the same time.

And on he entered her and started his smooth rhythm in and out her body with the ultimate pleasure…He felt ten times horny when hearing her sensual moan along their lovemaking, she did not overreact, she did not fake it, everything seemed to be so natural when it came from her mouth… and she was just the best sex he could remember in thirty one years of his life. He was huge and her inner muscles were so tight and they fit completely well…

It was much easier this time since the first…

Their first night was also her first time. He discovered it with a total shock only when he was inside her. Normally, he would find it out immediately if one was virgin or not if without this darkness and the ribbon binding his eyes. His reasons and analytical mind did not work this time since he first accepted her require. Why all of sudden she appeared in his life, gave out the weirdest suggestion and the next moment he knew that he was the one who took away her virginity.

-Is this your first time?

He asked to confirm and even when he couldn't see, he felt that she nodded lightly and she was probably crying because of pain. But it shocked him even more when she held on his arms and said in her choked voice:

-Please, don't…stop

As he went on with the greatest carefulness in his life, he didn't know why but he didn't want to give her pain or any regrets for her first time, he did not want to be crude or rude for her first time and lucky for her, he was one of the most talented ninja in Konoha and also the most skillful one in bed.

The next morning when the sky was only dimly lit and most people had not appeared in Konoha's street, he heard she woke up, dressed up and left with a small whisper in his ear: "I will come back"

For three days, he wondered whether he was in the oddest dream as that time he was too drunk and too busy with the terrible feeling of solitude. But at the forth night, when he got home and found her on his bed, he knew it was not a dream at all.

Two months had passed since then and he had to admit that she had smothered the loneliness inside him. He longed for her, desired her and felt entirely sated when he was with her. He couldn't name the feeling he had for her because it was nameless just like her- the nameless girl who appeared so late in his life but so right…He did not know or may never know why she can sensed his sadness or anguish, every time the lonesomeness was biting his soul, killing him from inside, she appeared, fulfilled his emptiness, alleviated his misery and then disappeared again and again.

_You give me everything but why never did you say, you want something from me_?

-Kakashi

She cried out his name in ecstasy as they came to their orgasm, he flooded her inside with the hot white flash of his seed. He also wanted to call out her name but he could not as he did not know her name. He knew nothing about her.

And he collapsed on her body, they panted rapidly; he felt her sweat and her thumping heart beat, it was like music to his ears…

_I wish I could see your face…But if I do that, can I see you again? _

Lying quietly beside each other, Kakashi felt her cuddle more into his body as he heard her say:

Kakashi, are you sleeping?

Yes, I am – he answered with an amusing voice

I don't know why but I love the way you sitting on the roof and reading your book, it seem so carefree and cute

Cute?

He couldn't believe his ears, no one ever told him that he's cute especially when he's a thirty one man- an entire adult- he smiled and reached to her arm; tighten it more around his chests

Yeah, especially when you find something funny or dirty, I don't know, your eyes seemed to sparkle and the corner of your eyes curved up, I knew that you are smiling or laughing under this mask. It's really really cute.

Where did you see me on the roof?

I won't say it, you will find out…- she intended to say something but then she stopped and he get her hesitation

Yeah, I know, I've just tried, whether you let your guard down- said he still with the witty tone

Kakashi – she whispered but her voice was not amusing at all – you promised not to find out about me, remember it?

After a long pause, Kakashi signed at last and continued:

-Yeah, I know, I'm sorry, now I know what my disciples think Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke

He sudden felt a light, so light quiver from her body transferring to his when he mentioned his disciples' names but then she asked without any hesitation, making he think that maybe he mistook:

-What's about them?

-They tried so hard to uncover my face when they were twelve or so, I knew all of this and played with them until they gave up, It was so funny that time, but I couldn't get it, why they so desperately wanted to see my face, but not until now…

- Did they really give up? – She asked after a small laugh when listening to his story

-Not really, they still ambushed me several times later when they had chance but they never succeeded.

- You're just too mean to them – She hissed in a very lovely way, but yes, it suited her age – he smiled and turned around to face her, his hand was groping in the dark for her face, and then it rested tenderly on her silky cheek, he mused:

-My face was nothing special; I'm not worth seeing, not like you, I'm sure that you're much more worth watching than me.

And he stopped that, Kakashi was a smooth talker, especially when he wanted somebody to pay his bill in the restaurant but never to his beloved woman, had he thought it was just like deception, your woman must be someone special, you can use sweet words to her like any others, and it's too stupid.

Kakashi – she whispered in a touched tone – Thank you!!

For what?

For everything

And then he bridged the small gap between their bodies once again to warm her up, leaving no distance between them, chest to chest, arm in arm and body to body:

Say my name again

Why?

Just say it, I love hearing you say my name

Kakashi,

Once more

Kakashi,

Once more

Kakashi,

Once more,

Kakashi…

Well, how is it ? I love Review, good or bad? Just tell me please


	2. Chapter 2

**Secret Part 2 **

Kakashi yawned loudly against his mask, he wasn't that tired even when he did it three times last night, just a bit sleepy. Actually he found himself in euphoria as sex really did men good, they didn't have to hold back anything and his partner was completely out of this world.

But he knew that, for such a long time, it wasn't only sexual category between them, it was something else, something was more farfetched than his imagination – if it was only sex, he just felt satiated after a few times and then the forlorn mood would come back, dip him into utter depression and disgust. But with her, everything seemed so different. They talked after making love, usually about feelings they never talked to anyone, and he felt really at ease when unraveling his heart to her. He enjoyed the relaxed atmosphere around them and she seemed to understand everything he said or intended to say. It was penetration.

Sometimes he thought that he may be dreaming all those time or he may have suffered from some kinds of psychological disease – he was paranoid resulting from all those years of fighting and losing almost all the people he loved. His heart felt so friendless and it had created a perfect picture, a perfect girl for him - a girl who could assuage his grief with her affectionate heart and sophisticated mind, who gave him everything and never asked anything in return, who fulfilled his desire of a man and the need to be loved of a human. His mind may be playing a cruel game with him when she kept coming back once, twice and again and again…He so enjoyed her presence that it scared him, if one day she went forever, one day she woke up from this dream and went on living her own life, a life which is not involving him a little bit. Since, after all, he knew nothing about her, not her name, not her face and may be she was truly a dream. Could he wake up one day and realize that he must go on or was he just fast asleep in it forever? It scared him more day after day especially when she disappeared for four or five days and it was also the reason why he tried his best not to reveal her face…

He suddenly remembered an old myth about Shirahime – actually a beautiful snow monster. She was a blood-sucker wandering about the snow-white mountain to find her prey. Once day she found a group of men sleeping in an uninhabited house to hide from a blizzard and sucked every one's blood but only two men's (one was old and one was young). The young man unexpectedly woke up. Instead of being frightened of her act and running away for his life, the young man pleaded the snow queen to release his father and took his life away instead. Touched by the young man's bravery, the snow queen accepted to spare the young man and his father's live but made him promise: "never tells anyone about her existence", if he did so, she would come back an kill him and the young men accepted. Surviving from this night, the young man went home with his father and became a skillful carpenter. One day he met a very beautiful girl – his neighbor's niece – he fell in love with her and later they got married. The couple lived happily and the wife gave birth to two children – one boy and one girl. The young man never felt so fulfilled in his life until he heard a rumor that recently, some people in the neighborhood were found dead without a single drop of blood in their bodies. The rumor reminded him of the snow monster many years ago. A few days later, an old woman lived next door to the man said that she found his wife usually came out very late at night and then the next morning they found a dead body, she feared something so wrong happening. The man didn't believe the woman but suspicion just made its way back quickly when very late that night, he woke up and he could not find his wife anywhere. She just returned when it was nearly daybreak. The man pretended to be fast asleep and the next morning, the old woman's shrunk corpse was found also without a single drop of blood to the man utter consternation. He decided to confront his wife and told her about the incident many years ago. When he was telling, his wife tried to stop him several times and insisted that she didn't want to hear but the man was so persisted and he just want to know the truth, he just didn't believe that his wife was a blood-sucking monster. And when he finished the story and pleaded her that it was not true when the old woman was suspicious that she was the snow queen, his wife did not say a thing in a brief moment while tear leaking from her eyes, tainting her face, she said slowly with disappointment filling her voice:

I told you not to tell anyone, anyone….

Her voice echoed around the house ferociously and the man terrified to realize the voice and his beautiful wife transformed into the exact atrocious snow queen he witnessed many years ago…Tear flooded his eyes, his beloved wife was a real monster but he still loved her so much so he pleaded:

I'm sorry but please, don't kill anymore, just be my wife and our family could be together once more, I need you, our kids need you, Please, come back…

I can't – said coldly the snow queen – You broke the promise and everything ends here, it's a curse, I have to return to my mountain…

No, please stay with me, I love you

You've betrayed me, I can't be with you any more, I didn't kill you because of our children but we will never meet again…

And then an icy tear made its way down to the snow queen's cheek, her last words haunted the man forever: "My fate is to live in desolation eternally…"

The snow queen disappeared and she never came back. The man realized that he made a terrible mistake, for all those years, his wife was truly in love with him, she really wanted to live with him not to test him. She gave up her monstrous way of living because of him but his faith in her was not strong enough. He broke the promise and he lost her forever.

-It's a horror story – Naruto concluded when the old man finished the story while they was on a boat crossing the sea to the snow country (it's very famous myth in this country), making Sakura hissed irritatingly:

- Naruto, it's a romantic story. Can't you see that the snow queen give up everything to become a normal wife because of her love?

- But she still ends up a blood-sucking monster, Sakura. Old habits die hard

- But she was really in love with her husband and that make up for everything, right Sasuke-kun?

Sakura's voice filled with hope and her eyes were shining as she turned her head towards her crazy love – Sasuke, she wished that he would understand her feeling but all she could receive was a cold stare and a short word:

- Nonsense

Kakashi smiled under his mask when seeing Sakura disappointed like any other times. She was twelve years old and girls at her age were concerned more about love than training to become a great ninja. Just like Naruto, he simply thought that this was a horror story to scare kids not wandering alone without their parents, a bed time story and a simple myth, nothing more. He could not go further than that with all stuffs about love and betrayal. If his own wife was really a monster or some one who launch a threat to Konoha's people, Kakashi would kill her himself. Sakura's thoughts or girls' thoughts were too complicated to understand.

But now, he thought differently.

His girl could not be a blood-sucking monster as it's a legendary creature and no Konoha's people found dead without any blood left, but she may be a spy from other villages or an assassin detached to kill the Hokage, or she may be some one's wife…there must be a rationale here that she had to hide her identity, there must be something wrong and they shouldn't be together in the first place. Why did she have to do this? He did not really care about it anymore since only when she appeared and the moment they were together concerned him more. Whatever she was, whoever she was worried him less and less time after time, he just wanted to hug her in his arm and talked to her, hearing her say his name waiting for her to fill his heart with strangest emotions he could not name. He hardly felt the guiltiness as they met more frequently; it was all pleasure, delight, bliss and happiness mixed with fragile scare of losing his secret soul mate for good. And he did not understand at all or knew where it came from, even when she never said a thing about it, never complained or frustrated but he knew that what she was suffering was beyond anything. The guilty feeling, the self-torturing, the dilemma she was in tormented her every day. She was a girl after all, to decide to do something like this was unbelievable while he was a man after all, too satisfied with his own pleasure, he disregarded everything and just waited for her. The waiting was long and intolerant but at last she came and he had everything again while she must have had to overcome great obstacles to be with him, if this was found out, she was on the verge of losing everything she had. This may be the mood of the snow queen that he could not consider years ago. Her husband could not understand this and he lost her. Kakashi was different, he understood it but he couldn't do anything, after all, it's her own decision. She did not allow him to interfere. She did not allow him to know about her, it was her own choice.

Kakashi sensei!!!

Kakashi's flow of thoughts was halved when he realized the familiar voice of his hyperactive adherent –Naruto. Turning around to see the fox ninja in his usual cheerful manner and his graceful fiancé (also Kakashi's students) - Sakura was walking calmly besides him, Kakashi voiced:

Yo, hi, Naruto, Sakura

It was great to see them that way. At last, they had overcome the great loss after Sasuke's death two years ago and were ready to move on with their own life. It was a terrible time that Kakashi didn't want to remember because it still wrenched his heart just by a flashback of it. That time Naruto was lifeless for weeks and he couldn't shed a single tear, he was too shocked to accept the truth, Sakura, in contrast, cried for more than two months, just a single thing reminded her of Sasuke could also make her fall into an abyss of despair. This time was the worst time in Sakura's life as her parents had just predeceased one month before Sasuke due to the last attack of Akatsuki to Konoha. Kakashi could not do anything but stay beside her day and night while Jiraiya took care of Naruto. Finally, they were strong enough to get through this hardest time of their life and made their engagement three months ago.

It did not surprise Kakashi as Naruto was always in love with Sakura since childhood and Sakura, had she not too obsessed of Sasuke when she was twelve, would she have soon realized her feeling for Naruto. Now they were much more grown up and much more talented, they were no doubt the best students Kakashi ever had. He felt happy that they would get married soon and may be, he could be teacher of their kids someday.

What are you doing sensei? – Naruto asked curiously, his attitude was still not much different since he was twelve, his grown-up side only showed in battle field and in pain. Strangely though.

Nothing, just drinking and thinking – Kakashi smiled, under his mask and continued:

I heard that you two had just come back from an A-rank mission, is it dangerous?

Yeah, pretty hard, but with Sakura's exceptional medic skill and planning, we had detoxicated all the enemy's deadly poisons and eradicated their Head Quarter.

Naruto, you're boasting about me, I'm not that good, and it was all thanks to your strength and quick wits…

Sakura smiled, her eyes beamed with warm light that could make any men notice her beauty more. She had become such a charming lady with natural, delicate gorgeousness and it suited her position in Konoha now so much. She, at her nearly 18, was one of the top medics in the village, The Hokage's most favourite apprentice and a super strong jonin with a wonderful analytical brain. There was no need for Naruto to complement Sakura in front of Kakashi when he already knew her gift since the case with the Kyubi inside Naruto's body. If Sakura had not been extremely brilliant, Naruto could have never been walking and smiling on Konoha's street again and his name now may be carved in the same place with Kakashi's old comrades Obito, Rin, Asuma and Sasuke. When Akatsuki tried to suck Kyubi (The fox demon) out of Naruto's body, he almost died and Sakura had to use a long-lost healing technique to bring back his life, which also nearly cost Sakura, her own life this time after 1 month sleeping in coma at the hospital.

But now, the tragedy at last lowered the curtain, too much for their excruciating adolescence. Currently, together with Naruto, she made up an invincible couple in battle field or carrying out missions. Kakashi found it quite funny hearing them praise each other like that as when they were younger, Sakura and Sasuke always scorned whatever Naruto did. Kakashi interrupted the two's conversation:

Yeah, yeah, I know both of you are so good but you've been on an A rank mission, that means both of you had been paid a great deal of money, so why don't you treat your poor, unemployed former teacher a good meal? Is it a great idea?

Kakashi's stress on the four words "poor, unemployed former teacher" caused Sakura laugh out loud when Naruto winced a little:

You never change sensei; always want to pass on your bills to the others. But…

Naruto stopped to give Sakura a meaningful look and smiled widely:

Actually, we are going to invite you to our house tonight, and eat with us. It's Sakura's birthday – don't you remember?

Oh

Actually, "no", Kakashi remembered nothing about Sakura's birthday. It was not his habit to remember anyone's birthday including his and he was used to receive presents than give them away since he was small with so many achievements he had when becoming a ninja. So this time was not an exception, however, it was nice to hang around with old pupils, eating and drinking, toasting for something.

Sakura will cook and I bet you can't have a better meal in entire Konoha

Naruto talked in his usual enthusiastic way – well, Kakashi never thought that Sakura could cook but sure she changed so much to become a fantastic wife for Naruto, especially when they moved to live together 3 months ago. The idea of tasting Sakura's dishes seemed enticing too. Noticing Sakura's cheeks tainted with red shades when Naruto once again flattering remarked her:

Naruto, I told you, I'm not that good; I can just cook a few things…

Kakashi felt more confident about their future marriage, they looked so much like a young couple now even when they were just engaged. The husband was so proud of his wife and boasted her with every one he met. He decided:

-Okay, you just said things tempting me so much Naruto, I will come.

- Oh, you just stay with him, Kakashi sensei, I want to go shopping to prepare for the dinner.

Sakura said quickly, making Naruto turned to see her:

-Are you sure you can go alone?

Worry appeared in his eyes and his soft voice – "Oh, dear, you two need to really, really get married soon" – thought Kakashi

-I'm okay, don't worry, and just stay with sensei, Naruto

Sakura smiled and she passed Kakashi to walk away. The air filled with the rusty smell of disinfectants, it was nothing strange as Sakura worked in hospital, and she was dipped into that smell day in day out. As Sakura was hidden form view, Kakashi turned to tease Naruto:

- Don't over-protect her like that, you will marry her soon, and you will have endless time to take care of her every day, you know.

The effect did not turn as the way Kakashi wanted it to be, instead of a shy smile from Naruto, Kakashi noticed a sad glint in his sky-blue eyes as he cut short:

Hope so,

But then like abruptly realizing the abnormal look on his own face, Naruto brushed it off quickly, too quickly and then returned his common way:

-yeah, you're right, can't wait to see that day

Then he laughed with a little force that Kakashi could not understand at all but he moved on:

Well Naruto, do you know what Sakura like?

What do you mean?

Naruto's look swiftly became curious and serious:

Well it's her birthday, right? I want to give her something; I've never given her a present for her birthday but this time you and she invited me to the dinner, it's just odd to come in nothing.

Hahaha, it's so funny to see you formal like that sensei, Okay, you can count on me.

You never dared to laugh at me when you were younger, Naruto –

Kakashi grimaced; deadly stare in his eyes, and Naruto took no time to react:

It's the wonder of growing up, Sensei

It's the wonder of…

Kakashi rapped Naruto's head with his knuckles without holding back his strength and finished:

Older, wiser and taller, brat!!!

Ouch, Kakashi sensei, you're mean!!!!

Naruto screamed as he rubbed his head to relieve the pain. Kakashi laughed out loud and continued:

So what does Sakura like?

Well, she's not fastidious, you know, never up to anything too expensive or showy, modesty does her good, and just think about something you know that it'll suit her.

For some people, Naruto's explanation will really help 'cuz it stated clearly about Sakura's taste but in Kakashi's case, it wasn't that helpful. He never considered buying presents for a girl before and when he asked Naruto: "What does she like?" He meant physical asset or a certain object not something that vague or abstract. Thinking for a few seconds and coming with nothing, Kakashi voiced:

Your suggestion doesn't help, too complicated, state something simple.

It was simple sensei, just think of something you want her to have?

Naruto's voice became irritated, a few more seconds and Kakashi gave in:

Nothing, tell me what do you give her?

I can't tell, it's a secret – Naruto made a face which was quite funny to Kakashi:

You become a very husband-like guy, Naruto, well; I think I have to take it really serious to muse about Sakura's present now.

While wandering his thought up to the sky, Kakashi suddenly saw something in the deeply blue mixed with shade purple of late afternoon's sky, the breeze seemed to dispel the heat of the day, the breeze of early summer. Sakura was born in a very beautiful season; the weather was fine, not too hot, not too cold, and very comfortable. Well, it was actually the best present – he could find for her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Secret Part 3**

Kakashi and Naruto appeared at the dinner table at 7 o'clock sharp. The delicious smell of food displaying pleasantly to the eye made Kakashi realize that how he missed a home-made dinner that much. It had been a long time, too long for him to remember his last home-made dinner with people around him. Kakashi cooked meal himself sometimes but he always ate alone in complete silence, there were no such thing as laughter or chatters around his table. Even born to be a loner and loved the life of a loner, deep inside his heart, Kakashi knew that it was much better to eat with some body else rather than yourself. Besides, who have the will to resist such inviting dishes? They were all Kakashi's favourite food (much to his surprise) and no tempura, only judging by the way the food was displayed, Sakura could sure earn the title of a good cook if not mentioning the enticing smell was freely invading the two males' nostrils.

Pouring champagne into three sparkling glasses, Naruto held the first up after passing the two others to Sakura and Kakashi:

For Sakura, wish you always be happy

I sure do, with two of you around me like that

Sakura grinned radiantly and her eyes blatantly said that she was extremely happy. It was a bit strange to Kakashi to see how Sakura changed over the past six years: From a naïve, weak twelve-year-old girl who always needed the others' protection and had a love-obsession to her handsome teammate Sasuke, to a strong, determined, quick-witted 15 year old and finally a stunning, compassionate, charming but strong-willed 18 year old young lady. The only time when Kakashi met the weak Sakura again was when Sasuke and her parents had just died but it was thoroughly understandable why she was so feeble, everyone did the same thing in her situation. She was so lost and devastated, she could not think of anything to move on. At that time, Kakashi had to doff off all of his usual indifference to save the life of his beloved disciple out of despair. He lost one of the threesome – the first students in his life and he could do nothing about it. He was totally powerless watching Sasuke dying in his two teammates' arms. As from that day, Kakashi made a promise to himself, he would not lose any of his students again even if it cost him his own life, he would do everything to relieve their pain and enlighten their life even if he had to give up his privacy, his normal lifestyle of pretending unconcern. So he was there for her, to encourage her, console her, guard her away from mistaken decisions for nearly two months and since then he felt like he took the responsibility to be Sakura's surrogate father. Between them, a strange family-like bond had formed and Naruto was the best choice for any fathers in Konoha to gladly marry off their daughters to.

It was no surprise when Naruto usually received envious stares from men in Konoha when they heard the news of his engagement with Sakura. He was so blessed to have such an elegant girl to be his future's wife.

Tugged down his mask, Kakashi gradually gulped the liquor down his throat to let its sweet pungent flavor slowly permeated into his esophagus. Suddenly recognizing the odd silence, Kakashi turned to see his two former students who were staring at his face:

What? He asked out of concern

Well, you looked the same When I first saw you more than two years ago – Sakura blurted out at last

Yeah, if this time he had not been unconscious and his mask had not been torn into pieces after the cruel fight with Akatsuki members, Naruto and Sakura would never have had a chance to look at it. But it was not quite a bad result for Kakashi as he remembered from that moment, Naruto never dared to call him "old man" or anything like that, but this was also the only chance they could see his face without mask so, it's quite reasonable to explain the astonished look on their faces now when seeing their teacher's face once again. Kakashi smiled light-heartedly:

Actually I haven't changed since I was 25, Sakura, I'm not like you two, I was through the phase of growing up and changing amazingly as both of you had experienced in the last 6 years.

He was probably not showing off, with the age of nearly 32, Kakashi looked no older than 25, he was quite young and indescribably handsome. That was the reason why he could effectively shut Naruto's loud mouth up since he witnessed his face. There was no "old man" or "you must be over 50" or "buck-toothed" or "cherry lips" since then. Naruto smiled cheerily:

I'm lucky that you didn't put that mask off too often Kakashi-sensei

Huhm, I will take it as a praise Naruto – Kakashi chuckled

As the night rolled on, the trio enjoyed the meal while revising the old time with the old team seven, about how messy Naruto was, how smug Sasuke tried to be, How disturbing Sakura acted and how harsh Kakashi pushed his three disciples. They all knew that this was the most precious time of their life before fate drove them to different ways and pillaged their most beloved ones. However, Kakashi felt a lot relieved when Naruto and Sakura could calmly mentioned Sasuke without falling into grievous reminiscence, the wounds in their hearts had healed and Sasuke's shadow in their life faded somewhat in a positive way, it was not like they forgot or ever forgot him but they knew what exactly to be "moving on", the weigh on their hearts was not that heavy anymore.

After the fantastic meal (exactly as Naruto promised) Kakashi took out the present he bought for Sakura out of nowhere and gave it to her:

Sakura, happy birthday, hope you like it – He said shortly with a kind smile

Thank you Kakashi-sensei – She replied and received the gift.

Naruto looked at the present with a more eager mood than Sakura:

Open it, Sakura, let's see what's inside?

Sakura eyes beamed with curiosity and excitement as she untied the ribbons binding the rather large square box. And there, inside the box was a pink kite covered with beautifully and vividly drawn cherry-flowers, cherry petals were also detailed on the kite's tail. Those must have been painted by a skillful artisan so that they looked just like the real ones.

When you fly it, it would look like cherry petals waving in the breeze and all the year around you can witness the flower blossoming. Wish you always like the happy full-bloomed flowers, Sakura.

Kakashi smiled gently as he finished his sayings, people said Kakashi always had a way with words and they were right. Naruto blurted out while his eyes were stick to the kite in a dumbfound way:

It was so…meaningful. Sakura is for Sakura

Sakura seemed to be immovable for a moment; the pink lock hung down her face and hid away whatever feeling underneath, then she turned to face Kakashi, a glimpse of tear on the corner of her eyes, she smiled happily:

Thank you Kakashi-sensei, it was a great gift.

You're welcome – Kakashi replied charmingly.

Giving another smile, Sakura closed the box and said:

I need to do the wash-up, Naruto, can you make Kakashi-sensei some tea?

Okay – Naruto answered quickly

And Sakura turned to leave to the dish washer then abruptly something struck her, her knees bended down but before she fell on the ground, Kakashi caught her by her waist, an impulsive familiar feeling raced through his body, but before he could grasp anything Naruto moved to catch Sakura and asked her with over-concern in his voice:

Are you okay? Do you feel alright Sakura? I told you not to work too much, don't you remember, Sakura

I'm Okay, Naruto, just a little dazzled and I slipped that's all

Sakura held on his arm and gave him a reassured look:

Sakura, are you sure that you are okay?

Naruto, I've said to you, I'm okay, don't worry, just make Kakashi-sensei some tea, okay? I will be right back

Sakura's voice was still soft but firm and he could not do any different. Sakura went inside the kitchen while Kakashi followed Naruto to the living room. Watching the concerned look on Naruto face, Kakashi could not comprehend but out of nowhere he just remembered his secret partner. What was she doing now? Were there any one caring or worrying about her like Naruto did to Sakura? Was she just another lost soul in this enormous world trying to look a small shelter for her sad soul? Was it the reason why she came to him? But if she wanted a shelter, a consoler for her heart, so why cared to make up all those thick impenetrable walls of secret? She clearly wanted him but why she did not need him? Too much question to answer, too much problems to solve but the upsurge of emotion Kakashi had towards her recently doubted him even more about their true relationship. Unconsciously, Kakashi asked:

Naruto, you love Sakura so much, don't you?

Kakashi noticed the surprised look on Naruto's face when his former teacher asked him such a strange question but then he spoke his mind in a pained tenderness which was more peculiar to Kakashi

Yeah, and I will always love her desperately

The feeling … that you love some one, how is it like, Naruto?

The hesitation in Kakashi's voice, the unreadable emotion in his eyes confused Naruto but he kept answering:

When you love some one, you just want to do everything for her even the most stupid ones, and you always wanted to be with her, to share her feeling, when she's sad, when she's cheerful, beside her in the worst moment of her life, be a shoulder for her to lean on and just the thought of never seeing her again wrench your heart deeply, hurt you beyond any imagination.

Each word Naruto said flow into Kakashi's mind like a stream of water running continuously through the chapped, barren land, cracking the arid layer of soil little by little to make it fertile again. His words were no trite theory; it came from his heart and from his own experience. They were filled with his sad and fragile emotion and it could only come from a true lover's heart. Even those sentences were used so many times by countless people; Kakashi did not explain the reason why it was so true, so faithful and so painful coming from Naruto's mouth.

Kakashi sensei, do you have some one you love?

I… don't know.

Without warning, a strange feeling encroached upon Kakashi's mind, this feeling was so strong, so prevailing that when it turned up, it could not be ignored any more, Kakashi stood up all at once and hurried to the door:

Sorry, Naruto I should go, thank Sakura for me about the great meal and tell her goodbye.

Kakashi – sensei

Naruto cried out loud after Kakashi but he'd gone.

……………………

The bizarre feeling invading Kakashi's mentality was still going stronger and shaking his inner thoughts thoroughly. He did not know why but it was so tangible that he could not resist the urge to come back home as fast as possible. He felt it harder to control his mind since he left Sakura and Naruto's house. Even this late at night, he was so sure that, tonight, she would come for him.

Flying through the roof and the tree, Kakashi stopped at the front door and quickly opened it; he made his way with the shortest time to his apartment on the seventh floor. When he opened his apartment's front door, he knew that he did not make mistake, she was actually there, on his bed, under the mask covering all her face and her hair, waiting for him. Kakashi rushed in and hugged her dearly. She never appeared two days in series before but he found no surprise when seeing her tonight. Intuition told him that she would come and he just all of sudden missed her so much even when they just met the previous night and made love three times to each other. Returning his great suffocating hug, she also clung her hands to his back tightly, it noted that she missed him too, crazy like he did. And then they parted to let only enough time for her to tied the ribbon around his eyes, he rushed on to explore her body with his kisses, stripped her clothes away and covered her neck, her breasts, her abdomen with a rain of kisses. Her body became scorching, he never felt she was that hot and that sexual.

His lips met hers instantly to find it so wet, so sensual, and the kiss was wildly fervent as he sucked in every millimeter of her lips, drinking her saliva, tasting the syrupiness of her mouth. His mind was spiraled into that kiss like a tiny helpless boat crazily spinning into the disastrous whirlpool without any way out. He had never kissed any one like this before and sure there would be no one who could give him kiss like this anymore. She was responsive to that kiss exactly the same way he wanted, ardently, madly, ferociously, sexily, insanely, and extraordinarily. His hands moved crazily in her silken lock, to deepen the kiss and she was also, fisting his silver mane in her fingers. Thousands of feelings, emotions, and sensations flooded into Kakashi mind. Was it exactly what Naruto had just said? The possessiveness was too dominant in his psyche now since he wanted desperately to keep her by his side for eternity and for him only. They kissed like the next day would be the end of the world.

Then when the urge was built up fully and their desires intertwined with each other, he forced her to lean against the wall, separate her legs and continue the kisses from her abdomen down to her vagina, and then he licked her, sucked her, entered her with his long, hot wet tongue, making her shudder, shiver, quiver, tremble and moan his name sensually again and again.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

Looking at Sakura and Naruto, for the first time in his life, Kakashi wanted to know the feeling of having a family, how it would be to share his life with another – a girl he loved, how it would be to have a girl cooked for him, and how it would be to stop a bachelor's life and bind your thread of fate with the others' forever. He liked the free, unconcerned and aimless bachelor's life much more in the past but the concept of having a family was not too bad now as he perceived the happiness surrounding Naruto and Sakura when he saw them.

_A family, huh, well, if it would be with the passionate girl lying beside him now._

She was too good to be a wife: Sweet, adorable, delicate, and more important: excellent at bed. And there it was again…the urge…He wanted to see her face. Kakashi tried to dismiss the idea when it emerged in his head and reminded that he made the man's promise to her but once it appeared, it did not give up easily. Why do she had to cover her face, may be she was very ugly, or she has a very funny or terrible blemish on her face, well, whatever her face may look like did not concern Kakashi a bit when he was not judging people by their appearances, she was beautiful for all things she had done to him. So his mind was playing a very good job to convince him about how her face may look like and coming to the conclusion that it did not matter at all relatively rapid (it's his nature) and it quickly move to the second category, the reason why she had to cover her face. They'd been together more than two months, done things that most of husband and wife or lovers did in many years of their life, why did she still insist on concealing her face? Why knowing her face, knowing her name was that devastating to her? He knew nothing about her except for a slender body and a very long sleek hair that he didn't even see its color. Her voice was hoaxed too, he knew no one has that kind of voice and it was too easy for a ninja to change her voice. Kakashi's intelligence had told him long before this night that this girl must be some one he knew, not a total stranger or a foreigner but he just did not want to think further about this.

But who he knew also posed a problem as he knew too many people or more precise – too many women such as Anko, Sakura, Shizune and Ayame. Anko would never be able to play a game requiring too much patience like this, it was too troublesome for her, and she would get right to the main part and it usually only lasted one - night stand or one week-stand before she got bored. Shizune was a workaholic and she was too busy looking after her trouble-maker shishou – Hokage –Tsunade, he never saw her at bars or restaurants or any where to have social acquaintance, actually he rarely talked to her. Ayame was cute but she was not a ninja in the first place, how could she throw her self up in the seventh floor through his window without shedding a single sweat. It would never be Sakura, _not in this life or any other life_; she loved Naruto and lived happily with him. She was more trusted, reliable girl than all the girls Kakashi knew combine together and once more thing her hair was short in a very endearing way. Kakashi's mind wondering to some other candidates and the next seemed to be weirder than the previous such as Kurenai (but soon felt it illogical as she was still hopelessly in love with the late Asuma and occupied with raising up his twins), Ino (she was too squeaky to be this delicate in his memory and she was too famous for party over night since she's fifteen) Tenten (he never talked to her and she was Hyuga Neji's wife – who could do something this stupid when she was the first lady of Konoha – wife of the heir of the strongest, noblest clan in Konoha not mentioned one of the most handsome, talented men in the village) As he thought more about the clue he got from the first night that his secret lover was in reality a virgin – he found it more complex – no one on his list was still a virgin this time even his most trusted girl – Sakura – she moved to live with Naruto one month before he met the girl. "Okay, May be you can find out about her with something more unique, something belong to her own, think, think…oh, right, she has a mole on her waist in the back, right at the junction with her butt and her back" - a small one but he could feel it clearly every time he ran his digits through this area to grad her butt. But this clue seemed to be just as useless as the first since he could not go around the village and ask all the women to show him their back.

Kakashi decided to stop his thinking to further girls he knew when he was younger including his one night stand, one week stand, well no inkling at all.

There was easier ways to find out: the first was yanking this ribbon away and just looked at her face; the second one was activating the sharingan. What did he choose? Why did this silk ribbon out of the blue become so heavy on his eyes?

Just a very easy move, just a tiny move, everything would be revealed…

Kakashi raised his hand to the eye-binder ready to pull it away…


	4. Chapter 4

**Secret part 4**

Then abruptly, he remembered the snow queen's story- well may be what he was trying to do was wrong. He would lose her forever if he did that. Besides, his promise still had its full effect on him. Never in his life, had Kakashi taken his own words back, when he promised something, had he made it for life. It was simply betrayal to her in his morality. Then he lowered his hand to his side.

Swiftly he felt the girl stirred and moved closer to him, he felt her sweet lips on his cheek:

-Thank you, for keeping that promise

So she was awake all this time, contemplated his action and ambivalence, did not make a sound, keeping her breath even and deep like she was sleeping – she was a much better ninja than he could think of, cheating the Copy Ninja is nearly impossible. If Kakashi really saw her face, she would stop him instantly but she wanted to trust him one last time or to test him also. He was lucky when doing the right thing.

And then she rose up from the bed, wore her clothes and went away.

Kakashi took on an A-rank mission 5 days later with Guy and Shikamaru. His professionalism had long reached the level that no personal matter could affect his mood when he carried out the mission or push him into even a tiny error, he had such a cold head and steel heart in the battle field and that was the reason why he could raise up a great generation of shinobii for Konoha. However, this time something had changed. His professionalism still there, untouched and intact, but deep inside, there were something stirring his heart like a small drop of water, falling on the tranquil lake's surface on the high mountainous areas and creating continuous circles pervading further and further away, blending in the gentle sway of the hushed air, forming something which was not quiet any more under that affected calmness. And the picture became clearer every second passed by. First it was really a drop of water, and then there was something inside that drop, a girl who was dancing with a strange move – so light and so surreal, who instigated all these rouses in Kakashi's soul. He missed her. Simply and Truthfully. The other times when he was away in his missions, he also wanted to come back but only because the need for a cool shower, quick snap, comfy bed and pure desire was responsible for all the reasons. He was a man and when he was upset, only sex could alleviate and satisfy him not permanently but temporarily. In this sense, carnal desire was put on the same level with other necessities such as sleeping, eating and bathing, so necessary but truly trivial. Not this time again, it was simply longing. It was restless and uncontrolled. It was like a hungry stomach needed to be fulfilling with hundred bowls of rice, it was like a terrible thirst which could not be satisfied without a pond of fresh water. He could not believe that one day the famous Copy Ninja could be tortured by such a mediocre emotion as that. All of his physicality and mentality were merely craving for the mysterious girl and only one word could explain his mood now, one word that he wanted to evade for his whole life and now it was so tangible to be denied. It was "love".

But lucky for Kakashi and unfortunate for his enemy, he was kind of men when you had a muddle in your consciousness, and you desperately wanted to untie it but you could not, you used more of your strength into the work before your eyes to make it as perfect as possible to momentarily forgo the confusion and come back to it later.

The sixth night, he came back home at 12 o'clock and she wasn't there, yes to his dismay but no to his surprise. She must be a god if she knew exactly when he came home from a confidential mission. After a quick shower, he crawled on the bed and hoped that she would turn up the next night; he had so many things to talk to her even when he did not know where to start. Sleep came to him quickly after the long exhausted journey.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

"Angry" would be an understatement if one wanted to describe Kakashi's mood now, in fact, he was furious. Three more days was added to the total of 9 days and she still did not appear. What took her so long this time? He wondered, never in more than two months she showed up this late, usually, the longest time was only 4 or 5 days. He was never left alone, sinking in darkness and convinced himself that she would be right there the next minutes or asked his head to stop thinking about her and gave reasons that she was just the two-month stand in his life. But the urge and the yearning was all there, emerged in this room, soaking into its atmosphere, and he couldn't stop the crazy missing. He moved around with all the most common thoughts that a normal person, not a reputational Hatake Kakashi had once experienced in his 32 years – first he was furious, because she was somewhat more heartless than he expected, with all the soothing and consoling she gave him right on time for the past two months, now she seemed to forget them all and moved to the next stage of her life without caring to notice him, this was fit so well with his anticipation but somehow, Kakashi could not feel any better even when he was well-prepared for it; second, he was worried, may be something had happen to her, she was a ninja after all, and what did he expect from the life of a ninja? Danger and jeopardy, threat and peril were their daily life, she may be lying somewhere in the hospital or may be worst, dying somewhere else, and this led him to the third reaction: determination, the next time she turned up in his room, he would ask her to show him his face and they should talk about a settle-down or he would wait for only one more night before rummaging the whole hospital to find out the long haired female ninja. Usually, Kakashi would not wait like that, all he just had to do was to get to a bar and after a few chit-chats, and he would get himself a good-looking girl for one night since it was so hard for women to resist his charm but not this time. All Kakashi wanted was his secret mate; she carved herself in his heart and leave it like an eternal open-wound. He knew that even when he hooked up with other women, he would not be accused of being unfaithful since there were nothing stated officially between them, it was just an affair, the strangest, weirdest affair in this world, but it was still really hard to explain why he felt so guilty if he did that to her.

Fortunately, on the tenth night, she did show up in his bed room again, and quickly he pulled her into the greatest embrace ever.

- I miss you – He said simply – but she seemed to grasp all the underneath meanings of it, the power which let Kakashi say this sentence may have moved a mountain 'cuz he was often too far away form those common feeling and lukewarm on the surface seemed to be his nature.

A shudder appeared on her petit body and transferred to his quietly. Then a series of trembling sent shiver to his body length: "Is she crying? "- thought he and his doubt were confirmed immediately:

- I miss you, too

Her choked voice was a clear proof

Why did it take you so long this time? I'm nearly crazy, I want to meet you but I have no clues or anything, I thought I would turn Konoha upside down to find you.

He whispered over the top of her head with an enthusiasm which surprised even himself, he did not let her go the entire time.

What happened to you?

I'm sorry… to make you worry, Kakashi, but I can't tell you.

She said and her voice was sadder than ever. Then Kakashi parted from her and held her by her upper arms, he looked into the two tiny gaps defining the eyes of the mask and continued:

- Let me see your face

He said in his kindest and earnest voice she could ever listen to, and his eyes were burning with warm flame that melted her inside. They both knew what he meant; He wanted to end this sneaky relationship and moved to a new stage. In those two months from stepping into his life, she had done an amazing job, which was opening the door to Kakashi's soul and it had little by little accepted her without his knowing, and now he was ready to say the last three words:

I think, I…

She suddenly covered his mouth with her pale fingers, which amazed him:

Don't say it, Please

She was pleading him not to say the most important words. Unbelievable. Why did she do that? Is it really one-side and sex was only thing she sought from him this entire time? It took Kakashi a few minutes to register what was going on and he could not stop to ask in shock:

Why?

I, I don't want you to regret Kakashi; I'm not worth it…

Amazement struck Kakashi:

What on earth make you think you don't worth it? And why do you know that I will regret?

His loud voice seemed to tear the quiet night's atmosphere into pieces and his hands tighten around her arms.

Kakashi, I came today to tell you one thing. I can't see you anymore

Her voice seemed to hold back any emotion about to brim over. But under that mask, everything was unreadable. Kakashi tried to suppress the outburst formed inside his throat with a short word that he had to repeat 2 times this night:

Why?

Kakashi, I'm tired, I cannot continue anymore, every time I came here, you became more demanding and I'm scared that one day I cannot satisfy you any further.

Her tone had backstabbed all the pretending calmness she tried to play in front of him for the last hour, it was anxious, nervous and confused, and he even read through her quite easily:

Lying, you're lying…he shouted

Kakashi …

If you're tired, you just leave without saying anything, cuz' we all know that you and I never confirmed anything about our relationship. It was much easier for you to walk away so why cared to come back and say that to me? Just because you want to see me, you still desperately want to see me like I do.

And then he slipped his hand underneath her knees to carry her into his strong arms, he threw her almost mercilessly onto his bed and quickly straddled her while pinning her two hands above her head in his clamp-like grip.

Kakashi, what…

She was panicked when she was able to read what exactly Kakashi was intending to do. As he bended down low above her, he whispered in a dangerous tone:

I'm not the only one who become more demanding, you are, and we both know that, why do you keep coming back? If you were tired, your body would show it to me, but clearly…

His hand was moved smoothly under her dress in a way that instantly caused her goose-bump, she was respond to his touch, which made him smirk contentedly, and then his hand roaming around her valley, hooked the rim of her panties down and felt her wetness…

Your body was not saying the same thing.

On he pulled his digit from her panties slowly to her belly under the thin fabric and all the way to her breasts; squirming around her nibbles which all erected and he buried his face onto that sensitive part of her, licking her nibble through the slight cloth. She fought back groaning from the touch while tried to escape his grip but now, he was too strong and sadistic to let her go. His tone just built up more intense in this situation:

I don't care who you are, I just want to be with you and you've already known that I'm too selfish to care about the others

Then he parted his hand away from her body to slowly raise it towards her mask then he heard her in the most desperate tone he'd ever heard:

- NOOOO, Kakashi…don't do that… - her voice broke into violent sobs – please…please, don't do that…

Kakashi's determination dissolved in a second when he heard her sobbing, the last thing he wanted to do in this world was to hurt this girl but he couldn't think that his trial to unmask her could bring her so much grief like that; she took it more serious than he could imagine. His hand which just stopped in the mid air was now moving to his headband, he pulled it down to cover his eyes and released his grip on her wrists to tie the headband tighter around his head. As gently as possible, he pulled her mask away to place his fingers on her damp cheeks, they soaked with more tear than he could think of, it pained him deeply to think that he was the one hurting her this much. Rubbing her tear away with his thumbs, Kakashi whispered to her ears:

I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, I won't do that again, but please, don't go away.

And he felt her arms closed his nape and his shoulders into a big hug. The trembling was still clear in her breath but she was calmed down. After a very long pregnant pause, Kakashi found his voice again:

Promise me not to disappear, I can't stand it…

I don't know Kakashi; I don't know how longer can I be with you? I have to go, I really have to…

So stay with me until the last moment when you really have to go…Don't just vanish out of blue, you can give me the false hope that you really want to be with me till the last moment, can't you?

It isn't a false hope, it's the truth, I want to be with you till the last moment

So why do you run away? Do I scare you this much?

No, obviously, I'm not scared, it's just too complicated, Kakashi…

She signed sadly and snuggled more into his body, she refused to say anything else, and he also kept silence. This was the first night they did not do anything except for sleeping peacefully inside each other arms.

………………………………………………………………………………………………


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks for all of your supports and your warm-hearted reviews, and sorry for the delay

**Secret: Chapter 5**

Tears, women's tears were supposed to be one of the most dangerous weapon they had apart from their beauty and femininity or sometimes it was the most effective knife to stab the men's hearts ruthlessly, made them pained, made them be meek and made them be powerless to do anything they had predetermined to do. It must have take a man a lot of effort and courage to resist those sweet beautiful crystal-like drops accompanied with continuous sobs which were greatly agonizing to the male species' ears.

Even though Kakashi was categorized as the rare kind of men who was totally or seemed to be absolutely unaffected by women's tears for his whole life of whatever decisions he made, it still injured so much when hearing his lover crying especially when it came to her own style of crying. Kakashi had seen and heard so many women crying in his presence, either they cried for him or for others, or simply because of wounds or moving, touching moments, they still had one thing in common, when a woman cried, she held nothing back. His girl was different, in few times when she shed her tears, he sensed unmistakably that she always had to hold back something, restrained her voice and suppressed her flare-up of emotion. In stead of continuous sobs, she made him remembered her strangest repressed sobs within her throat. Was it her own character in the first place that she was actually a reserved person who always tried too hard to keep her mind under control and let her intelligence work over her sensibility even in the most intimate moments? Or was there any others reason that she could not express herself fully in front of him? Or she was so sensitive that she could grasp his puzzlement if she cried too hard and she did not want him to be puzzled any further with this entire stranger appeared on his bed every night? After all she did not come to cry on his shoulder or seek for his commiseration, she came to cure his own disease which Kakashi himself did not recognize until he met her. The almost incurable disease biting his soul gradually from inside like a slowly impregnating poison…there's no need to tell what's the disease's name anymore if one had experienced it…

But the way she cried last time made him concern seriously. It was miserable, evidently, and the other part of his sound mind told him that something was broken inside her weep. She tried to restrain but failed wretchedly when he insisted on seeing her face, her choked voice was heartbreaking and sorrowful, which added ten times worse to his ambivalence. He wanted to have her in the normal sense, which blatantly meant that a settle-down relationship but she did her best to prevent it become true.

He knew that for sure that he had loved her but what's about her?

_Did she love him like he did? _

A huge part inside Kakashi perceived that she must have been deeply in love with him because she was a woman after all. Kakashi knew women and understood them well enough to know that it must be a dreadful persecute for a normal woman apart from lascivious ones to have sex continuously with the men she did not love. Every now and then, lust got in the way of a forlorn woman, made her ready for one or few night stands and then it faded away promptly when she found no bond, no closeness or warmth or whatever from a total stranger. Sex only played as a painkillers or tranquillizer for them occasionally, because after all, every woman sought for their true love. In contrast, men could bear with desolation as long as forever if their sexual need was satisfied. You don't have to love someone dearly to make love to her more than 5 times if you are a man, but one time would be too much for a woman if she did not love her sex partner. The terrible void in her soul would become far hollower if she could not be both physically and mentally contented while as for a man, physical need and mental urge seemed to intertwine with each other quite often. The girl must be definitely, undoubtedly and undeniably in love with him – the Copy Nin – Hatake Kakashi. But why did she bother to keep their lives separately while they were doing things only lovers did? Their paths of life had crossed each other in the most bizarre way Kakashi could think of but when he was ready to incorporate the two souls, she immediately stopped him from doing something so patently.

He could never guess what she got in her mind, which made him let out a heavy sign.

Even his long-time friends Icha Icha series could not help him to get out of his jumble, had he hardly concentrated on the content of the latest copy without pondering his thought to a certain girl. There he was, on his favorite spot – the Anbu's headquarters' roof, trying to draw out some pleasure or entertainment from the adult's book written by the famous legendary ninja Jiraija but failing quite miserably at something which was likely to be his gift for more than 25 years of being a shinobii – attentiveness.

Kakashi loved to read book in deserted places such as at the top of the Konoha's Hokage statues, or in some roofs where he would be unlikely to be interrupted or distracted by anything, but his most preferred one was Anbu's headquarters' roof. The first reason was this building was hidden well under the shadow of the Hokage's tower and the Konoha's hospital which made it a very cool and shady place. The second reason was hardly anyone dared to get close to the Anbu's building without get questioned or even killed by those masters of horror and torment working inside that building. So, in other words, the whole time this building deemed to be so isolated and enigmatic, which added major plus point to Kakashi's liking. Besides, when Kakashi occasionally loosened his hand holding the book's nape to his side and reflect the deep blue sky of Konoha in the lulling winds, he could have a good view of the village. First and most noticeable was the Hokage's tower in the middle of the village; slanted towards the left of the tower was the Konoha's hospital connected with the Hokage's tower by a long lobby, which served the Godaime –Tsunade to no end when she had to hold both the positions of Hokage and the head medic concurrently. Only 200 meters away from the tower to the right was the enormous Hyuga clan's precinct, and next to it was Uchiha's citadel which left abandoned for ages even before the last Uchiha died. Only one block away from the Anbu roof was Naruto and Sakura's department in align with the Ninja Academy. Kakashi's department was on the other side of the village where was far quieter than those busy streets – but obviously, aloofness was always what Kakashi sought after all his life.

Instinctively glancing over the seven floor's window of the hospital, Kakashi caught up with a glimpse of roseate hair flying in the wind along with the white curtains, it was Sakura, checking one of her patient's health conditions. She had done her job when unconsciously she looked up, out the window to realize her ex-teacher looking into her direction. He raised his lazy hand to notice her and he smiled under his mask while she nodded her head in return and smiled brightly. She waved her hand to greet him and quickly resumed to her work. She looked so professional under that medic uniform – Kakashi thought. The feeling of having a mature and successful daughter must very resemble to his now.

Sakura, keep calm, he will be fine…

I can't, his eyes doesn't stop bleeding…

No, just calm down, I will handle this, Sakura…

NO, it's my duty, let's me do this Shizune-senpai

"_What's with all those messy voices and noises?"_

Oh, shit, It's…fucking hurt

Kakashi tried to think more proper but all he could sense in all the directions of his brain was a dominant burning, scorching pain around his eyes and his chest. All he could hear was the chaotic noises of people' shouting, shrieking, howling, hurrying which worsened his horrible obscure state of mind and pierced his ears brutally. He tried to open his eyes but found it as unworkable as moving a mountain out of its foot while a warm, liquid-like substance was incessantly dripping from his pupils, irritatingly blocking any of his attempt to move his lids. Kakashi had been in extreme pain for more than 25 years of his ninja's life but his eyes had never been this bad in all those years, usually he was just too exhausted and got unconscious instantly, and then experiences the stinging pain subduing the next few weeks. But this time, the acutely aching optic nerves which seemed to be jerked out of his globes added furious influence on his intolerably smarting head. This was the aftermath of using Mangekyou Sharingan five times a day.

- Keep his hand down; don't let him touch his eyes!!!

Some one shouting commandingly, the voice was so familiar but Kakashi could not realize it belonged to whom anymore, no sooner the voice reached his ears than both of his arms were kept down violently on the mattress by strong hands.

He's just emptied out his chakra, if we don't channel chakra into his system now, he could not keep his pulses… - One voice said gravely

But he got the sign of terrible brain-damage, if we can't stop hemorrhage; he may end up losing his eyesight forever and living in coma – the other voice reasoned in the same severe tone

It was too hard, Tsunade-shishou's still in Suna, she can't come back on time

No, we can't wait for her, he need to be operated right now

Sakura…

I will do it, we have to transfer chakra into his system to keep his pulse and into his brain to knit the damage optic nerves and brain-damaged area to stop the bleeding and stabilize his blood circle. We need to do this at once, Shizune senpai, you can channel chakra into his body and I will treat his eyes.

Sakura, I know you can do it but not in this state, he needs at least 8 medics' chakra to get his brain fixed, if all those flow of chakra transferred intermediately through your system, you may…

Shizune-senpai, is there any other medic that can work with you better than me in this situation? – Sakura cut short rudely.

No, Sakura-chan…

Shizune replied in defeat, Sakura was right, she and Shizune was the only ones in this entire hospital could perform such tremendously intricate operation in the Hokage's absence. They needed to work in perfect teamwork to rescue Kakashi's life, only a tiny inaccuracy or miscalculation can lead to the death of the renowned Copy Ninja. The chakra must be transferred meticulously and precisely into both his body and his brain without fighting against each other, and the equal difficult part was how to amalgamate the eight medics' chakra propagated into the head medics' system and use it effectively to cure Kakashi's wound. If those things were not done by masters of chakra control, the in-between medic's chakra system would be spoilt and her life would be threatened…

There's no point arguing now Shizune- senpai … we have to do it right here

………………………………………………………………………………………….

"Where am I?"

In the muddled cluster of pain, reminiscence, emotion and thoughts, Kakashi realized that he was floating in an endless pitch-black space escorted with deadly silence. He tried to say something and shout something, anything to put an end to this frightened quietness but nothing came out of his mouth that was not swallowed completely by this eternal darkness. Kakashi did not surprise to find himself in this vacant space because he was too used to it after years of living as a shinobii. "Always be the last; always be alone" seemed to become his motto. A weak man may soon be killed mercilessly by all the loss and lonesomeness Kakashi had to suffer from his early life. But being Hatake Kakashi meant being Konoha's symbol of unbreakable spirit who always knew exactly what he must have done at the most proper time and overcame all the pain his life to get stronger day by day. He tamed the loneliness, he befriended with desolation to live with sound judgment and cool intelligence. He knew unerringly who and what he needed to protect with all his life and never failed to live up to the expectation of his students, his Hokage and his comrade even once in a while, his long-time friend – "loneliness" betrayed him to return to its wild nature. It attacked his soul, plunge him into the sea of nostalgia, memories and disheartenment. He hated the feeling but could not stop its periodical appearance in view of the fact that Kakashi, as from the day he begin breathing, was always _the man of recollection, the man of the past._

It was alright if he died this time, he was never afraid of death as death was another inseparable part of a ninja's life. He had more succeeded than anyone in this career – he was a child-prodigy, an eminent ninja, a respected teacher, a good friend and beyond doubt, an attractive man, there was nothing he regretted now …

if…

_if… she did not appear…_

_Regret… _

Yeah, he was not used to it even after so many years…or 18 years to be exact living with it, in his life…he never stopped regretting as from the day Obito died…

There were two biggest qualms in Kakashi's life. The first time was Obito's death, and the second time was Sasuke's decease. In both times, he was powerless to save their life and witnessed their adored friends live in despair of great loss. Just like Obito's case, all Kakashi could do was after the incidents occurred. Only after Obito's death, could Kakashi change his characters to become one of the greatest ninja to honor Obito's eye every where his name could reach – The Sharingan Copy Nin and could he protect the only love of Obito's life – Rin; then again, after Sasuke's death, could he relieve the acute pain in the heart of the two people Sasuke loved most in his life: Sakura and Naruto. But never right on time could he impede their fatality from happening, he could not save his friend's life and once again he could not do anything different to his dear student. And there he was, the last person in this enormous world bearing the last sharingan. Deep down inside his heart, Kakashi knew that Obito would be disappointed when he knew that his entire clan was eradicated and there would be no more Uchiha in this planet. Kakashi's fate seemed to own too much from Uchiha clan but he could never had one chance to pay this debt. For ages Kakashi always thought that the only right things he could do may be having the same death as his friend, his teacher and his disciple. They died like heroes, and he could also die like one, having his name carved in the same stony monument and blended his soul into the Konoha's winds for evermore.

So why bother keeping on living if you can die as a hero at anytime?

_Please, stay with me, Kakashi, don't go…please, come back to me Ka...kashi…_

Someone was crying and squeezing his hand as the tone was stifled with mournful emotion and his hand was damp with hot tear…he realized the voice – strange, sad and spleenful …her voice – his darling – the girl he had never once seen her visage and known her name…

He always wanted to call her, looked at her facade and caressed her smooth cheeks by his fingers. He would do it so tenderly that she had to keep her gaze locking in his until he felt sated after mulling over her face for hours.

No, not this time…

If he died now, it would be the third biggest regret in his life. In the last two times, his action was too late and he stood no chance to correct it, but only this time, he could make a change. He did not want to regret and he did not want to leave the only love he found alone in this cruel world…

The jet-black thick space around Kakashi suddenly became thinner and softer as he clenched his hand tighter around the girl's hand…

Kakashi…you're awake?

Her voice was trembling with uncertain happiness, he tried to answer but found himself too weak to say anything or move any further but his fingers…

Kakashi, you really have reaction…thanks Kami, he did not take you away…

Uhmm…

Kakashi tried to open his mouth but all he could produce was indecipherable sounds…

Who's there?

A voice startlingly broke the silence of the night around Kakashi and he heard his lover whispered in his ears in a panic and rushed voice:

- I'm sorry, I have to go now, I'll see you later

- Nuh….

He did not even have enough strength to form the word "no" on his tongue when she withdrew her hand from his in a gentle but decisive way, leaving him with an unexpected sensation of abandonment. Only two second after her disappearance, was the room's light turn on in a very vulgar way. Even when Kakashi's eyes were still covered with a thick layer of bandages, he still found the flow of light deluging the room exasperating. Instantaneously noting his hand raising in the vacancy, the nurse exclaimed astonishingly:

Oh, my god, you're awake, Hatake-sama is awake!!! Haruno-senpai, Haruno-senpai

And then she ran straight to the next room to knock loudly onto Sakura's office door and profusely screamed:

Haruno- senpai, wake up. Hatake-same is awake, wake up Haruno –senpai

Sakura immediately opened her door, even the glimpse of sleepiness was still written on her face, she had finished putting the white blouse on and hurried to the next room:

When did he wake up? - Asked Sakura worriedly

I don't know for sure but I just checked him 20 minutes ago when I heard small noise inside his room and I thought that some one else had been there, but It turned out to be Hatake-sama's grumbles – the nurse summarized briefly

Thanks Kami, he was unconscious for 2 weeks and his conditions are gradually worsening; now he woke up, at this time…

An unspeakably happy expression appeared on Sakura's face, which the nurse could not catch up for the last two weeks. She was nearly worn out because of distress, anxiety, grief and concentration to find a way to cure her treasured former-teacher; she channeled her chakra into his body every day to speed up his recovery, and almost lost her hope when his conditions deteriorated day by day, but every time he showed a bad sign, she collected herself again and continued the treatment, palpably with the help of her fiancé – Naruto – he was beside her day and night to take care of both of his fiancé and his teacher. Now all the agony seemed to be washed away from her face when she checked his pulses and other conditions:

He will be fine, his chakra was at last back to normal and all the optic nerves started to work more properly, I will check him in detail nest morning, thanks Kami, Tsunade-shishou is finally coming back this morning

She said in relief when turning to face the nurse and let out a balmy smile even when Kakashi showed no sign of consciousness again since Sakura entered this room. Then she took his right hand poking out of the blanket up to place it under the when, astoundingly, Kakashi caught her hand almost violently, his knuckles turned white with the force he pressed on her hand as if he could never let her go:

You've… come…back

He uttered each word with the same incredible effort which shocked both of the girls in the room.

Don't…go

And on he sank into unconsciousness again. Sakura bent down to look at his sleeping form while her hand was kept unmoved in his grip, she whispered:

- Kakashi-sensei….


	6. Chapter 6

**Secret part 6**

Welcome all of your comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

………………………………………………………………………………………………

When Kakashi woke up again from a dreamless sleep, it was dawn. The chilly air of early morning tingled one of his cheek, and the other was tickled by soft strands of hair. Even when he could not see anything, he knew it was a girl, collapsing her head beside his mattress and…

Her hand was held tightly in his.

The hand was small, soft with slender fingers and so familiar to him

Was it….her?

But the smell was different; it was a mixture of shampoo with disinfectant which was really peculiar to one's nostrils. So who was she that he had held the hand for the whole night? Last night when a little bit of his consciousness still left behind, he was so damned sure that his girl had come back and he could sense it clearly by the hand he caught up.

The sleeping head slightly stirred next to him, letting several filaments continue to tickle his cheek playfully, and Kakashi at last recognized who she was:

You woke up Kakashi-sensei?

Sakura…

Kakashi quickly released her hand and sensed a moment of awkwardness passed by:

Sorry, I made you stay here the whole night

It's ok, sensei, I'm… Naruto and I are so worried about you; It's so great that you aren't in coma anymore. Tsunade shishou is coming back this morning she will make sure when you can leave the hospital

Kakashi took in Sakura's perplexity thus he hurriedly let it go:

Thanks Sakura, you have treated me all these days, haven't you? How long have I been here?

"More than 2 weeks, your conditions were really critical this time…"- She suddenly came to a halt, raising Kakashi's concern as if her voice was broken and then she found it again: "We're really scared that we may have lost you this time, sensei…Kakashi-sensei, welcome back."

Her voice naturally revealed an unhidden cheerfulness mixed with profound bliss which touched Kakashi inside out. This was not the first time and definitely the last time Kakashi stayed here, under Sakura's care and healing. Sakura understood him more than any Medics he knew in his ninja's life. They usually scolded him for overexerting himself in battle and warned him ceaselessly that he should not do this or he should not do that if he wanted to retain his vitality. Since Sakura was in charge of looking after his own health when she reached the age of 16, she never told Kakashi what to do with his physical conditions but patiently cared for and cured each of his gravest wounds over and over as she knew that Kakashi never did unnecessary things to harm himself, whatever he risked his life for, it must be for a really elevated goal: be it to save his comrades' life or be it to complete a mission that could be vital to the existence or the thriving of Konoha. Kakashi was not a teenage boy who just wounded himself while fighting because of impetuosity, so it was really tiring hearing those meaningless reminding. This instance was not an exception, if he did not use the Magenkyou Sharingan the fifth time, Asuma's twin may never saw their mother Kurenai again and Lee would cry for no end if he knew Guy's death and Shikamaru would seek for another revenge for Chouji. Possessing an ultimate weapon which was able to challenge even ninja villages' Kages's power was not a blessing gift as many may thought, actually it gave you less choice when it came to life-and-death situations. Thanks to Sakura's marvelous ability in chakra control and medic experts, Kakashi had raised the number of times when he could use Magenkyou Sharingan not quite harmlessly to four times a day (even Itachi in his prime could only use Magenkyou to only 3 times a day) and also with her advices, Kakashi could use Chidori six times per day, which made him in these recent years virtually invincible in all the five countries since Akatsuki and Orochimaru were eliminated. This S-ranked mission placed him and his comrades in the claws of two criminals whose power was equal to the Sannin. He completed it at last right before those two gathered their troop and formed another hidden village like Orochimaru's sound village and Akatsuki's organization.

Sakura, you're always trying your best to save my life, I…

No, don't say so Kakashi-sensei, you saved my life so many times before, that I can stand here today is thanks to you sensei. I will get angry if you say something so ceremonious…

The mischievousness materialized in Sakura's tone as she scolded Kakashi a bit to make him realize that she was at all times ready to heal him while drove the subject to another more light-hearted direction. Kakashi liked this personality of her – sensitive and delicate. A small smile emerged on Kakashi' masked lips:

Sakura, you know, I hated having my eyes covered like this; can you remove it for me?

You've been comatose for more than 2 weeks, uhm, Okay, I think your eyes have already healed; I can untie it for you. But first, you have to sit up. Do you feel well enough to do that? You've just woken up.

I'm okay, no one has been sleeping longer than me, hasn't he? I've got bored of sleeping you know

Yeah, yeah – Sakura chuckled lightly – Some times I really appreciate your optimism in all cases Kakashi- sensei – and she really meant it, not many men out there could be physically and mentally improved as fast as Kakashi, who could calmly say his over-two-week blackout (an actual life-and-death situation) as a tedious two-week-sleeping. Kakashi seemed to rubbed weakness and illness off his shoulder like small dirt.

Sliding her petite but strong arm across his back and the other under his knee, Sakura cautiously helped Kakashi to a sitting position as he breathed hard:

Well, as for me, it's one of very few items left after so many years. And I really appraise your patience and hard-working Sakura

Thanks, sensei, but I'm really nothing compared to Rock Lee and Naruto.

Trying to stabilize her teacher's stance, Sakura answered modestly

Well, I don't think it's fair if you say like that, Naruto and Rock Lee are masters of patience and hard-working but in an entirely different way from you. They use their mind to perfect their corporal abilities, (I knew you did the same when training with Tsunade-sama, not at their insane level but also very harsh) you, in other way, use your intelligence to perfect your mind. I saw you really went frenzied when you could not find out the optimal way to cure your patients' illness and better operation methods. You had suffered from insomnia for nights while trying to discover special technique to perfect our ninja's skills or raise the number of Naruto's, Rock Lee's and my extraordinary jutsus. You never give up until you nerve-rack your brain and pull it out. Simply put, you can't be compared in your own field, Sakura

Kakashi-sensei…

Sakura felt really nonplus by Kakashi's perceptibility, he's always a reticent type and only used words for necessary purposes but he always noticed everything surreptitiously and mesmerized them correctly without the second's knowing. It was the same reason why he had got that innate lighting-speed thinking "to see underneath the underneath". And he always knew how to warm her heart just like the old days when he smiled gently and rubbed her head to ensure her that "Naruto and Sasuke will be alright". Some where in her mind, she was really proud that he was aware of her efforts and appreciated them, Sakura beamed as she put her hands over his forehead to examine his bandage-covered eyes by her own chakra:

It's all thanks to Tsunade shishou and your training and living beside Naruto, Rock Lee and Sasuke for all these years, sensei, I just don't want to be left behind, you know, and I'm so glad to be helpful to my precious friends. And being a medic, I just don't want to witness anyone die before my eyes just because I hadn't tried my best or just because I hadn't trained well enough. I hate the powerless feelings, It haunted me since…

She halted her confidence, which it was all easily intelligible to Kakashi. There was no need to continue the last two words "Sasuke's death". Kakashi knew, It still wrenched her gut remembering her beloved teammate. But it was not her fault; Sakura as well as Kakashi and Naruto had emptied out all of their chakra that time. But the obsession still lay there, fresh and bold. Sakura's quickly changed the subject:

I've checked your optic nerves with my chakra, they're all healed but you haven't seen light for more than two weeks, it may be hurt when you opened your eyes, so just do it really slowly, okay?

Uhm

Kakashy lightly grunted to let Sakura know he was ready. And then, she leaned closer to his face and undid the knot behind his head, her faint odor suddenly surging into his nose, still mixed with antiseptic but without a warning, he caught up with a very slim feminine whiff pell-mell in the fusion of shampoo and disinfectant, _which was very… very similar to that of…_Instinctively, he felt his spine go chilly as for no specific reasons.

Kakashi-sensei,

Huh

Sakura's voice interrupted his ears alarmingly, making Kakashi temporarily let out his stupor. He had just been in so deep thought that he completely forgot the doffing off of each of his bandage layers. Sakura continued with complete unbeknownst:

You can open your eyes now sensei, just make it real slow, don't look straight back to the window, look down on the floor first

Kakashi quietly followed Sakura's advice to open his eyes steadily. The light still hurt his eyes as she had warned but it was greatly subdued as he focused on the ground. And the first thing he saw was Sakura's pink lips, looking unexpectedly delicious and fanatical…

strangely familiar…

_and simply odd…_

Kakashi suddenly felt weak to which his present illness has no contribution. It was just a sickish feeling disturbing him, interrupting him, provoking him…It exacerbated every jiff passed by…and his soul was quavering terribly…

_This feeling was really sick… _

Never in his life, Kakashi felt more unpleasant …

- Kakashi-sensei

The loud "smack" sound disappeared as quickly as when it appeared, immediately swallowed by the thin air but the bitter and astounded predicament left behind probably obsessed the two occupants of this small hospital's room permanently.

If Sakura had not been too busy to look at the man before her who had just ruthlessly jerked her hand away from his shoulder with the back of his hand and was now looking at her with the same shocking eyes like hers after instantaneously revolving his head to Sakura's direction (he was also extremely astonished by his own act), she would have noticed the burning soreness and the reddened skin on her palm. This was the second time a man on the infirmary's bed treated her this rude when they were both in their deep thoughts and she had no idea why they all of a sudden turned violent against her for no rationales…but there was one thing different…this time….

Kakashi completely realized what he had just done, unlike Sasuke, who did not give a damned care about his acts and left the twelve-year-old Sakura on the verge of tear…Kakashi noticed and dazed too but still it was too late….

Something was torn apart inside those brightly jade eyes darkened with upset

and anguish…and somehow, it wrenched him seeing her in that state. Kakashi tried so hard to get away from this speechlessness but words jut could not make their ways to his tongue anymore… He just stared at her, partly wanted to plead guilty, partly wanted to keep silence, and at last he kept silent and felt ten times worse than opening his mouth and saying something to apologize her…

Before they could do anything to break the deadly uncomfortable quietness, some one else did it for them…

I TOLD YOU TO TAKE CARE OF….

I TRIED MY BEST… BUT…

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR LAME EXCUSES; YOU'RE NEVER THERE WHEN NEEDED!!!

_In a blink, those emotions vanished _

The loud clamour of the two (every one could guess it) blondes racketed the hospital in the most disturbing way. It was nearly unacceptable when it came from a Hokage and a soon-to-be Hokage but in Konoha, people got used to it.

There you are!!!

Kakashi-sensei, I'm glad that you woke up

The cheerful orange clad ninja and a fuming Hokage came into view of the two former teacher and student. Tsunade looked no fun at all in Kakashi's direction and strode angrily towards him.

"She's mad, is it because I overdid myself again and she had to come back soon to take care of my health's remnants?" – thought Kakashi nervously as he recalled the time when the whole western tower was ruined under the fifth Hokage's fists… But before he could defend himself, he realized that he was not the target of her wrath:

"Sakura, I told you thousands of time, don't risk yourself because of some old perverts, wait for me to come back, I'm too old now, you know, It's still a waste when I treated them but not as lavish as you, why don't you listen to me???"

Grabbing both the upper arms of Sakura and shaking her irately, Tsunade really did not note the discomfited frown on Kakashi's face when being compared to an old pervert and a "waste of time". Every one knew that Tsunade intensely loved Sakura like her own daughter as she saw almost all her personalities inside this lass and even some outdid abilities and so worried about her risking her own life to save Kakashi but her acts now was an exaggeration. Sakura was not a little child needing mum to keep an eye on her or watch behind her back anymore.

" Shishou, Kakashi-sensei is not some one, and I can't wait when you come back, it was just too late back then and you see that Shizune-senpai and I could manage it well" – said Sakura in a slightly heatedly sulky tone

In the entire village, except for the impertinent behaviour of Naruto right at the first time he met the fifth Hokage, no one was allowed to have that kind of voice (so familiar with the way of a petulant daughter) to Tsunade without her crashing them into ashes and Sakura was the only one who could reduce an enraged Hokage to a concerned mother-like woman:

"I know you're brilliant, Sakura but…"

" You're worried too much, Shishou, I'm Okay"

Sakura interrupted Tsunade but in a much more gentle way with a warm smile, showing that she was really touched by her shishou's concern.

" well, you're here now, I'm sure I don't have to overexert myself any longer, am I right? – said Sakura with a soothing tone when eyeing Tsunade with her puppy's eyes - I have checked his conditions, he seems to recover greatly but I'm not sure about the after-effect, Tsunade- shishou, he really depends on you…I want to go home and have some…some sleep now. See you later, Shishou.

Giving a long yawn with her hand covering her mouth, Sakura turned to Kakashi to say good bye. Her face just looked absolutely normal with the usual sunny smile, which startlingly tugged Kakashi's guts with a rapid, short force. Easily concealing his own confusion, Kakashi responded to her farewell coolly with the same lazy manner: "see ya, Sakura".

Then, she clung on Naruto's crooked arm to leave the room. Kakashi noticed Tsunade's worrying eyes remaining on Sakura's back until she was completely out of sight. Then she swiftly turned to glare at him with arrogance and annoyance on her face:

"Kakashi, take care of yourself, Sakura is not always there to look after you, you've got that??"

"It seems that I'm not out of luck any time soon, she's always the first and the quickest one saving me" – Kakashi chuckled

You won't have that luck long if you keep throwing your life to the death's gate like that, Your life is saved by Sakura, remember it and treasure it –Tsunade commanded sharply without any hints of trifle.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Kakashi"

The girl whispered sweetly before planting those mad kisses on his lips, sucking his tongue with ferocity and possession. She was consuming him and unleashing the repressed lust the two had suffered since he had to get on the clinic's bed. Her slippery, damp and soft lips was urging him to take more of her and her hand fumbled fervently about his patient's shirt buttons, it took her a lot of efforts not to yank it open instead of undoing it one by one – an act requiring so much patience and distress in such an extremely-needed-to-hurry-up moment. Kakashi's hands rapidly slide under her garment to her bare skin and up to the hem of her panties. She was wearing a thin dress today, the kind that he could easily move his fingers unlimitedly from her knees to her thighs, then to her belly, her navel, and lastly, her firm breasts with her perky nipples in a smooth, unbroken intimate trail. Kakashi blatantly sensed her shudder with sensual excitement when she felt his arousal forming promptly against her thigh, in a swift movement, he grabbed her upper arm and rolled her down under his weight, he did not let her ride on top this time when he could certainly please her need better when he was in control of everything… But then, he took in the fact that, he did not wear any eye-covering cloth… he opened his eyes when the kiss was breaking right before he could stop himself

Pink lip…

Pink hair…

Sakura…

"NO…"

The shriek pierced Kakashi's ears painfully and he did not even know whether it came from… was it from his pinky nightmare or was it from his shaking mentality or was it his own denial scream. He was just too busy in his whirling mind to notice his hard, short pants and his bodily perspiration. Usually all men like their wet dreams with whoever appeared in those lecherous imaginings, but in actuality, Kakashi totally did not feel the same. HE HAD JUST WET-DREAMED OF HIS OWN STUDENT – This made him feel like a bastard. Who could ever dream of a girl he considered as his own daughter and his beloved student' fiancé? What's on earth make he think that she was his clandestine lover?

Oh, gosh, he just wanted to bang his head onto the window sill if possible…

Just a faint smell wasn't a convincing proof. Girls wearing the same kind of perfume which was fashionable – that's all…his right mind reasoned…

But it was not the perfume, it was her unique smell that you had inhaled thousands of times and your nostrils get so used to that you could not make any mistakes … his left mind protested heatedly…

No, It could not be Sakura, _not in this life or any other life_, this was just a serious, stupid mistake…

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Sneaking out of the hospital's bed was always the first idea coming to Kakashi's mind when he sensed his recovery much before any one could realize. He hated hospital to the core and every body knew that: too much people in and out everyday, too much visits and too much rusty smell of antiseptic. There was no privacy at all and he felt sicker with the thought of a paralyzed patient. Then, when he could lie fully on his comfy bed at home and think more properly about oddities happening to him since the utterly disgusting nightmare, why did him have to linger longer in this unbearable place? So, taking the house-roof path through the window was his number one choice to avoid any intervention and prevention. It would not have took him long to come back his home safely and soundly if he had not seen a glimpse of pink and blond top-head right down a narrow and deserted alley. He came to a halt as quiet as a tingle of air right above the roof lined with the others surrounding the lane. Normally Kakashi was not that low to spy on his close people as he already trusted them enough to think they could do something disastrous to Konoha. Kakashi trusted few people in his life and since his faith was given, it was a life – commitment. But not at this time, when his faith was vacillated, he really had no idea why he stopped all of a sudden and decided to return to his old day of being an Anbu leader. Sixth sense told him there was somewhat unusual occurring between the two best friends/rivals Sakura and Ino - Something strong enough to draw them away from busy street to this narrow lane to have a secret's talk which was reflected by the seriousness and tension on those two delicate facial features. Something he - should know which can clear off some of his suspicions.

"you're surely hiding something from me Sakura, you acted so strange recently"

Ino whispered heatedly but Kakashi skilled ears let no words she said pass by unnoticed.

Ino, you're too skeptical – Sakura hissed depressively, her eyebrows knitted in a very, very bothersome way of being interrogated by her own best friend – There's nothing wrong with me, It's just the works you know, If you say that I'm overworked, It's true, I work too much just now but nothing as sneaky or eccentric as you insist.

Don't you dare to get rid of me with that lame excuses, Sakura, I know you for all of my life, I know that something wrong happening to you. You disappeared very often for the last 6 months, and no one know where you are – Ino ground out , failing the attempts to keep her voice quiet

Ino, I've carried out missions with Naruto, they are all A-rank or S-rank, and don't you say that I have to report it to you every time I leave Konoha? It's so ridiculous of you – Sakura sniggered without any tingles of amusement – it was rather a tiring laugh.

"It's true that You'd carried out a lot of missions with Naruto lately, but sometimes you just vanished and Naruto seemed to cover it up for you, he did not do any missions these times and you were no where to be found. I know it for sure cuz' I'm working in the office of mission-scroll storing with Shizune-senpai, Sakura, in case you don't remember, even if I was never in charge of finding or giving the mission scroll for you, It doesn't mean I don't know. Nearly 3 weeks ago, you just completely gone for ten days and there was no mission for both of you and Naruto. When you came back, you avoided to explain to me. Sakura, I'm really worried about you, what's happened to you?"

Struck by the sheer patent proofs given by Ino, Sakura was nearly speechless. She should know better that her friend was really a sharp thinker, she was originated from a traditional ninja-family (not a great clan but still a ninja family) and she had the habits of collecting enough information and evidences to expose an incident that confronted their nosiness. But even Ino was so famous for her gossip ability; she did not do this for Sakura so often when she was really cared about her and the frown and troubled glint shining from her face when she said "I'm so worried about you" really moved Sakura. And on Sakura did a thing that amazed both Ino and the man on the roof: wrapping her arm around her beloved friend's shoulder, resting her head on her own forearm, Sakura hugged the blonde tight and murmured softly to her ear:

Thank you Ino… she paused for a second then continued … for always being my best friend, caring about me, taking after me since childhood…you always give me the best motivation to go on in this path, I can really tell you about everything if it is possible, but this time, please. Don't ask me anything… I'm fine, Ino…

Sakura…

If this low and gentle and heartrending voice could not seal Ino's lips, so there was nothing could and she was whipped at last. She only confirmed one thing that there was definitely something wrong with Sakura but found no way to break into the darkness of her secret. She had, obviously, stopped her discovery here. At this moment, Kakashi without a tiny sound crept out of the scene, with a great deal of mishmash in his head.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Nearly three weeks ago"

"ten days"

The words ricocheting inside his head following a map of matrix disquiet his mind in the most frustrating sense. As usual when people found out a truth that they themselves found so hard to face up to, their brain created reasons for them to evade it or defend it. The Copy Ninja was not inescapable an ordinary man after all, put his feet on the same road. "Everything was just coincidence". He kept telling himself that but found it hard to believe time after time. As a renowned shinobi, Kakashi never believed much in coincidence, there were always raison d'être behind everything and for a shinobi, believing in coincidence was nothing different from signing the death's paper or killing himself soon. It was actually a good tactics for a ninja to infiltrate confidential information from their foes by staging a coincidence to leave no trait from which the nemesis could follow. "There was no coincidence, remember it" – this was the first thing he learnt from his master - Yellow Flash when he became chunnin.

"If there is no coincidence, so what can I do now?"

Gulping down a large sip of wine, Kakashi jadedly wiped away the liquid dripping from the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. He snickered mournfully as the night breeze blew onto his face. He had promised that he would never push himself in any kind of dilemma or matrix of love as he could live well without it, but now, he had created a hell of complication. One step wrong and you had to go a mile. Old sayings were hard to break as Hokage's monument. If he had not accepted the game at the first time, if he had satisfied with one night stand…

In this cloud of mistrust, he wanted to clear out all the jumbles and figure out the truth since Kakashi always hated ambiguity. He was a lonesome man, keeping all secrets for himself, worshipping privacy but clear about the whole lot around him since the first day of being a ninja: What a man he wanted to become and what kind of live he would lead and who he should trust for life. And being a ninja meant collecting and discovering secrets. As for countless experiences accumulated through 25 years in this career, Kakashi knew for sure that some times, it was better if one did not know the truth or were never aware of it. It was not evasion; it was totally different from that. Evasion was when you knew the truth but you could not encounter it but unbeknownst meant you were completely unaware of the terrible truth. Kakashi had seen plenty of samples for this fact such as the case a man insisted on hiring ninja to trace down the origin of his respected father and eventually found out that his father was an fugitive criminal who killed a lot of people before changing his name, getting rich, and becoming a generous lord.

It was when the other, weaker mind interfered him with utmost fear. If it was really Sakura… the sheer thought of it made him loathed himself, preventing him from thinking any further…

He still had two clues elucidated: Sakura had a short hair and whether she got a mole on her back-hip?

At this point, he had no turning-back. Deep inside his head, he prayed that all his doubt was wrong…

………………………………………………………………………………………………


	7. Chapter 7

**Dear my readers, I'm so sorry for the delay, it took me so long to decide what I should write next when this story really developed out of my pre-set plan, now it becomes much longer than I thought (nearly 30,000 words in stead of 13000) and I really don't know when it will end, but I still try to keep the number of chapters under 10.**

**Thanks for all of your comment and alertness , **

**PLEASE ENJOY YOURSELVES!**

**Secret - Chapter 7**

**The freezing chamber**

Traversing the lawn leading to his memorable place, Kakashi was drawn to amazement when he realized that there was some one else had already been there, sooner than he, in this thin blanket of dull white morning-frog since a gloomy but melodious violin's song which was spreading through every grass and tree's leaf, flooding the boundless serene space and merging in the isolate breeze, had instantly fell into his audible range when he strolled to the cenotaph.

The melody seemed to give life to those soulless things and turn them into connoisseurs of music, who were so engaged in this beautiful song that they accidentally let the infinite sadness and forlornness imbrued in the melody soak in their every sense and beleaguer them like a never-ending ocean of wretchedness. Everything seemed to be adrift forever in that interminable flow of emotions.

Watching those half green half yellow blades of grass swinging sullenly in the zephyr like desperate couples sharing their last dance before separation, Kakashi felt like he was no longer a mere observer but a bewitched listener who could not jerk out of his stupor caused by this music anymore.

"Why was it so sad?" – he didn't know but clearly it had reeled his stomach and nearly brought tear to his eyes. As an electric-shock-like wave of the sound penetrated Kakashi's senses, the bridge of his nose, without a warning, stung keenly. If he had not a man, a very strong man in actuality, those liquid would have formed at the corner of his eyes.

It was a blue moon to have some one came here earlier than Kakashi because he really wanted to be completely alone to have a talk with his old friend. But it was even rarer when one appeared in this unlikeliest place to play the violin with such unhappiness. To understand how the players' feeling was could not be less palpable…

Finally, the player appeared in front of his eyes.

The person he did not want to meet the most at this time and also the only one he needed to meet the most…

Cherry short hair slightly stirring in the wind….

Spotless white dress, moony in the slim curtain of chilly frog…

Slender shoulders, fair complexion, delicate figure…

Her eyes peacefully closed down to let her soul dipped into the flow of melody and her trim figures moved in a smooth rhythm, helping the violin sing its own exquisite song…

Kakashi wanted to go away right at the moment he saw her before the cenotaph since he could not arranged the confusion in his mind to look at and talk to her as calmly and nonchalantly as ever. But something clung on to his steps, settled him down on the ground and made his confusion grow wilder and wilder… He just could not fight back, not until he could hear all the melody clutching his soul back by their imaginary gentle digits, making his heart beats became quieter in a way and agitated which sent electric shiver to his spine in another. The more he listened to the sound, the more it swirled his inner-self with melancholy emotions, wrenched his heart with deserted feeling and connected his soul invisibly to the violin's player's by an ephemeral thread…

In this very instant, everything seemed to disappear, sink into oblivion, melt away without a trace, left behind only the two people and the violin's song…It had reached the deepest part of his soul…where loneliness and loss ruled forever…

When the song died down, the sentiment it left behind still fresh and overflowing in his mind, he just wished that it never thawed away like so many other things made their way out of his living…

"Kakashi-sensei…"

She turned back to regard him with surprise blatant on her face. Emerald eyes churned his gut gallingly, since when her presence made so much discomfort and ambivalence to him? Releasing a heavy breath which deemed to go totally unnoticed to Sakura by the distance between them, he managed a fake smile with eye-crease towards her:

"Morning, Sakura…"

"Ah, morning, Kakashi sensei"

She hastily bowed her head a little bit when took in her ignorance of greeting to him. Then the awkwardness materialized between them as they recalled the incident two days ago at the hospital. And Kakashi was the first to break the silence as he, after all, was the faulty one:

"Sakura, about that time, I'm sorry, I didn't know what came over me…"

It's ok … She cut him gently and tightened her hand around the violin's handle …I meant every one sometimes acted strange, I don't blame you for that, really…

Well, that was not this easy and simple; he knew it and knew that she knew it too. To have Kakashi acted in such an uncontrolled and cruel way, terrible things must have been occurring. And especially when you treated your beloved student who had saved your life by risking herself and did nothing except for kindly took care of you that rude, you had to regret awfully a lot if you had a great conscience. But if she decided to lay down the topic so he did not have to return the table to complicate the matter. He smiled again this time, a real one:

"Thanks Sakura"

She did not reply him, just gave him a smile and turned around to knee down on the grass before the monument to put her violin into its box. The atmosphere around them became far more light-heated and Kakashi could not back up from the urge to ask her about the instrument:

"You surprised me Sakura, I never knew that you can play violin, especially this good, since when you played it?"

I have a lot of things you'll surprise, sensei …she paused to shut the box. A hint of hilarity in her voice – like you are always the mystery for the three of us or the entire village.

Yeah, she was right, he was nowhere to argue that when he kept secret all for himself, so, it did not mean others did not have any.

I played since I was six, the dream to become a ninja was just stronger than the dream of being a violin artist, so I quit, but I still practiced them regularly at home, it's my pastime hobby. Sasuke caught me playing my violin once when he accidentally walked past my room six years ago, It was the first time he complimented me on something…so today, I wanted him to hear something nice…

Yeah, today was Sasuke's death day; It may be part of the reason why her violin's sound that heartrending. Even when he figured out that there was still something even more profound than just the remorse of a precious late-friend, he could not make out myriads of feelings mingling in this song. He did not know since when he could not read his only female student like an open book just like when she was twelve and fifteen. She had become an enigmatic girl without his awareness – well may be she was affected by him – the most unfathomable man in Konoha. Kakashi changed the subject when noticed the other strange thing:

"Where's Naruto?"

"Still sleeping, he was too tired yesterday helping the villagers to complete the hanging bridge, I did not want to wake him too early…oh, it's raining..."

She said naturally without any surprise in her voice, as if she had anticipated it well before the first tiny drop of summer's rare drizzle placed itself coolly on Kakashi's cheekbones. He replied with a quiet "hmn" hanging habitually in his throat as he faintly raised his chin to watch those light and limpid celestial tears dropping gloomily down to the silent earth.

_His mind was lost in the sudden curtain of rain, lost in thoughts and lost in her mystifying world…_

Watching her holding her palm upwards to catch the falling tiny dews which were perching on her pinkish silken tress like chains of hazy pearls, his eyes suddenly became too dazed to distinguish between what he was seeing was actually veracity or fantasy. Bewilderment assailed his mind as right in front of his own raven orb; her surrounding space grew to be wavered between reality and dream. Sakura was still standing there, only several arm-lengths from his place, with a vague smile on her gracefully-curved lips together with the misty glint in her eyes which made she look like a fog pixie, so elegant and so pure that everything around her in this earthly world seemed to sink into oblivion to mutely admire her flimsy beauty as if only a small sound could make it vanish for good. This was why she abruptly seemed to be caught in a so faraway place where no one could reach. He blinked his eyes, reminding himself of illusory imagination but the scene just did not go away, once again dipped him in the sea of mysteries. Was it his own sentiment in a strange flap of time playing some trick on his inner eyes or was it her who really created ethereal images before his gaze ?…He did not know…just witnessed them all soundlessly…

She blended so well under the rain…

As if she was melting…into the light rain…

As if she would soon, so soon, very soon, go away…

Evaporated from this world like the raindrops which buried themselves deep down into the quiescent and wintry earth…

And then a light smile painted her lips…

A sad smile which brought a squeeze of pain to his heart, a smile drenched with rainwater. Bizarrely, even when she was smiling, she looked like a sakura-blossom _crying_ silently under the rain,

so stunning…

so frail…

_but so easily withering under the freezing touches of nature…_And that scared him to death…

No…

He did not hear his own scream but it still reverberated through his mind for the reason that it did not come from his vocal cords or anything in that sound-making mechanism; it came from his inner thoughts when he rushed to her, grabbed her upper arm in his abruptly shivering hand, frightened by the silly idea that she would fade away into this drizzle…

Right after that, reality struck him…

She was still there, real, soft and cold under his touch, eye widen by his astonishingly weird action:

"Kakashi-sensei"

Embarrassed by his illogical panic out of nowhere, Kakashi hesitatingly undid his fingers around her arm and muttered under his breath:

"Uhm, sorry, I…"

He lost for words, he did not know what to say or to explain, how could he do that when he did not even get it himself with all of those estranged, abnormal and volatile feelings out of the blue emerging in his mind? He became emotionally unstable due to even the slightest things around this girl…He hated those feelings; it was jarring his sound brain in the most unpleasant way. Things like this happened only once in a person's life as controlled and calm as Kakashi's and he was really confused in dealing with it, what would you do when you supposed to have never experienced it before? You simply had no key to solve it, you did not even have the background knowledge to ponder upon it…Evading her orbs still directing to his, examining his face to find out the root for his peculiar behavior, Kakashi said it quickly:

"I have to go"

No sooner had he turned his head to walk a way from the cause of his unbalanced state of mind, than she voiced her thoughts:

"Kakashi-sensei, what happen? Why are you acting so strange these days …around me?"

Even his back now faced her, and the monotonous sound of the rain invaded his ears, he could still sense the spicy and stinging taste of tear so touchable in her voice and her hesitation when her sentence broken down into the last two words "around me"… But this was the time he should be cold and nonchalant, lukewarm and distant:

"You shouldn't ask Sakura, you shouldn't…"

After a short pregnant pause, she let it go in submission and a little bit disappointment:

"Yeah, I shouldn't ask…"

"_Because it's none of my business, and I can never be that close to you, can't I?"_

That was all she could mean with the two simple words "shouldn't ask", which was totally perceptible to Kakashi but he could not take his words back either. A pang of regret struck the back of his brain, he found himself so willing to eliminate the discomfiture around them but powerless to do so… Things had got out of his hand, between them, suspicion and disbelief burning like hell and it was obvious that when mistrust appeared in any relationships, when people close to each other no longer believed each other, their bond was marred, their link was on the verge of being broken…

"Tell me Sakura,"

This time he turned his head to face her

" …Do you love Naruto?"

and stared straight at her eyes to mull over it, to find any indications of deception inside those emerald eyes:

"I do, I do love him so much…"

She responded easily, still looked straight into his eyes. There no hint of trickery. Just confidence and truth… but intuition told him something different, he could not name it exactly but he knew it there, something was not right…He had once been so confident that he could see through his disciples including Sakura, know them so well to place his faith in. But since when, he could not read hers anymore, although honesty written on her face, he did not know what was underneath. It was just like he meant something and she meant the difference…

"Goodbye, Sakura"

He turned away at last and strode out of the memorial lawn, still sensed her eyes following his back…

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Cursing yourself for committing the most stupid sin which you should never made if you intended to lead a reclusive life was not Kakashi's force of habit. What done was done. He could not turn back time to change anything or blamed himself ceaselessly for ever falling in love without weighing up the consequences. Yeup, had he ever considered the aftermaths of having an affair with a total stranger and determined not to succumb to her sweet temptation, he would have never fallen so hopelessly in love like he was now. Now there was a silly paradox that he himself found it hard not to laugh at. At first, he tried every hints that his analytical mind brought about to discover who his lover was, and even filtered those who were his associates but now Kakashi prayed so hard to the God that he seldom believed in that she was an entirely, totally alien. She could be anything, a blood-sucking monster, a spy or a dangerous criminal rather than being one of his acquaintances, especially being Sakura. He could handle any terrifying kinds of human or non-human his girl could be without flinches but he did not know what to do if he was the one who stole away the love of his dear student's life and for the worst part, deflowered his only female protégé he ever taught. He could not stand that fact even he had once tried to prepare himself for that. All the culpability, guiltiness, shame, sinfulness and self-torment made him suffer like an acute disease in the last phases or like a horrendous migraine torturing him every second.

Needless to say why he felt this way, every one knew Hatake Kakashi since young took in the fact that he was a man of morality. He never had distorting or lewd thoughts about his students or lust after her especially when she was 14 years old younger than him and he was her teacher, her team-leader, her protector ever since she was twelve. The thought of viewing Sakura as a woman or more explicitly an attractive woman (even when he knew that she's quite a looker amongst Konoha's ninjas) never crossed his mind. She was very beautiful, sure, but in Kakashi's eyes, it was just like a realistic fact that Jiraija was the Konoha's number-one pervert and Naruto was so loudmouthed and impulsive. It did not contain any other sexual desire in that kind of comment. He was not a pedophile and she was not a jailbait (as he once believed). For six years together, there were no inappropriate moments which were unsuitable to their ranks, their status and their terms, just pure friendship and a family-like relation (at least to his mind). Never had he have to question that bond. It was him who set up all the proper manners and behaviors between them and it was her to respect him and behave so decently and correctly. Had nothing happened recently, he could have never imagined such a well-brought-up, graceful, serious girl like Sakura could do something so outrageously bad. Even at this very moment, when he was stalking her, he would not believe it.

He wanted to know the truth and he had to know it since it became one of the most critical decision in his life. The incident challenged everything his moral system work out for 32 years, his belief, his dignity and his only love. If his girl was Sakura, all of his system would be ruined but if she was not, he at least lifted this heavy, clamp-like heartache off this chest. This was 50-50 chance and he decided to take risk.

Right after he came home yesterday and received his girl's letter (a printed paper without hand-writing) stating that she had important business to do and had to stop meeting him for a period, he fixed on his plan. Vanishing in this moment made her more distrustful than ever. And when he could never collect enough courage to unearth her true identity when he faced her in their nights of wild passion, it was a good thing when he found another way to do it without directly hurting her.

Spying was normally a very tedious and tiring job, requiring far too much patience and sometimes left one empty-handed and furious after up to a few months of painstaking following and calculation. Kakashi knew that it would not be easy to crack that impenetrable shell of that ostensibly innocent, honest and proper facade. But he had two most essential possessions for scouting: time and persistence. Sooner or later, he would gain what he needed.

_This time he really had to see underneath the underneath…_

Choosing an unobtrusive place behind the large trunks of the century-old tree facing the front of Nartuto and Sakura's house and masking his own chakra, Kakashi could easily see the kitchen inside the upper floor of the flat through the large window and the small balcony. It was Sakura's idea to place the kitchen in the second floor as she insisted that the smell of cooked food could easily be withdrawn to the open door and the house would be much dryer and airier, and Naruto had nothing to argue with his thoughtful fiancé. Kakashi never thought it as an advantage up to now, when it actually let him see the full-morning activities of the couple although he felt so guilty for doing this.

Without any missions and emergencies in the hospital, Sakura started a day like any other normal girls. She woke up quite early at six and opened the window to welcome the fist lights flooding into her small world. Her face looked peaceful and unperturbed as she relaxed her shoulder's muscle and inhaled a huge breath into her lungs. After a few moves for the morning exercises on the balcony, Sakura returned to the kitchen and dressed a blue apron over her pink-hearted pajama to prepare the breakfast. She looked quite oblivious to the surrounding, which was no surprise to Kakashi since he was sure that after all those years, she still could not be proficient enough to uncover his masked chakra that went unseen even to the fifth Hokage and the Sannin when needed. Kakashi was not known as one of the greatest tracker in the ninja world for nothing.

Shortly after the breakfast was finished, Naruto with a wash-cloth around his neck appeared from the stairs, strode to the kitchen and said morning to Sakura along with a long yawn. Sakura quickly moved towards him and kissed him on the cheek which made Naruto blushed profusely (which also made Kakashi chuckle in his mind, after all those years Naruto still could not for once act normal around Sakura). However, her kiss became lingered longer on his cheek than necessary with just a simple peck, and it swiftly turned into something lustier as she moved her lips to his ear and nibbled its rim, which made Naruto stiffened a little bit before catching up with her zeal by enclosing the small of her back in his right arm while the left hand supporting her nape in the most gentle way the Jinchuriki container could afford. Then he kissed her avidly with his eyes slit shut, showcasing his pure passion and love and red blush still tainted his cheeks, reminding Kakashi of a certain Hyuga girl. Kakashi's gaze on the young lovebirds did not last as long as the kiss simply because, as a privacy-worshipper, he himself could not stand violating others' privacy in such a way, and additionally, there was something else in another part of his brain, something so-called "uneasiness" turned up out of nowhere.

When his lone eye returned to his two students, they already broke their kiss but still in each other's arms:

"You have an appointment with Shishou this morning, don't you?"

"Yeah, Anbu's stuff I guess. Baa-chan get so pissed off recently and I really don't want to be anywhere near her at this time."

Naruto pouted his lower lip dispiritedly when Sakura placed her forefinger on the tip of his nose and pushed it teasingly:

"So don't be late, if you don't want to be under her wrath. Now, go eating your breakfast."

And she undid herself from Naruto's hug decisively, making the young man start to feel abandoned and wanting more:

"You've ruined the game, Sakura, you instigated it…"

"Well. We had plenty of time tonight, Naruto" – She cut him shortly with a devious grin and sat down at the table.

The breakfast past by with a few more chit-chat about works they were going to do and people they were going to meet. Certainly, Kakashi had gained the information he needed – Sakura was going to the supermarket to shop for the whole week, which left him a bunch of time to make his detour around the house later. After the breakfast, Naruto dressed on his jounin's uniform and left the house after planting a heated kiss on his wife-to-be's face. Sakura did the washing-up and left home one hour later.

Wasting no time, right after seeing Sakura lost from view amongst Konoha's alleys, Kakashi entered the house with complete ease and with a set mind to find out some of the clues for his final conclusion. Having been here several times gave Kakashi no difficulties rummaging the house in the most careful and undetectable way. No one would ever find out the Copy Ninja had been here with his accumulative experiences.

The house has too floors, the living-room was in the first floor, right to the left of the main passage leading from the main door. A bedroom for guests was opposite the living-room and a laundry room, which lay next to the back door leading to the back yard, was behind the stair directing to the second floor. The second floor included the kitchen, the bed room for the couple, a toilet and a bathroom. In fact, Kakashi had no specific idea about what he intended to find but intuition just told him to go through the house to find special-raising-interest-objects beneath those seemingly clueless rooms.

After nearly one hour spending on ransacking the house (and finding a medicine cabinet full of bandages, cotton, antiseptic, antibiotic, tranquillizers and birth-control pills; a dressing-table with an ivory-comb and a few make-up, a sweet smell of room-spraying perfume, a bathroom with several types of shampoos and shower cream, hair-conditioner), Kakashi leaned his back on the bedroom door, hand supporting his chin and tried to think of what he had missed during his search. He knew there was something not alright with all these perfectly normal furniture and household stuffs but could not clear his mind to uncover what was truly wrong here. Then it hit him that he had overlooked the guest-room on the first floor because at first, he considered it to be unnecessary…

Disappointment quickly plagued Kakashi's thoughts as he once again stood in an absolutely ordinary well-lit room with a large bed and a wardrobe (with only a pajama hung inside and a warm-blanket at the bottom). The room looked spacious and plain, but neat and tidy and had a very faint smell of ramen (which made Kakashi think or guess that may be Naruto occasionally hid away from Sakura to stealthily eat his favorite Ramen cup in this room to satisfy his addiction while everyone knew that his lover detested ramen). Sat down at the bed wearily, Kakashi started to think that may be he was over-sensitive, may be he just irrationally suspected Sakura of an extremely unreasonable act, then accidentally, something caught his eyes. At the foot of the wardrobe, there was a dim rectangle trace of wooden floor, the color of which was slightly darker than other part. The different ranges of color were separated by a thin white straight line, which, no mistakes, was made by the moving of the wardrobe. Hastily, after examining the trail carefully, Kakashi tried to pull the back of the wardrobe aside to see what was behind it. The wardrobe was surprisingly much more heavier than its appearance, it had to be made from a very special type of wood – may be millennium cypress – typical for building the village's gate or blocking underground tunnels because of its anti-chakra, soundproof qualities and many other utilities. Nevertheless such an object could not pose any threats which could decline the Copy Nin's reputation since he already knew dozens of jutsus to infiltrate secret tunnels. Gathering chakra to his hands, Kakashi formed a seal and the next minute he could effortlessly push the wardrobe aside to reveal a door behind it. Stimulated by both curiosity and a little bit displeasure (mostly caused by the fact that his two beloved students having something to hide from him, something was very, extremely likely to be a dark secret – if not, why bother buying a house with an underground hideout in it?), Kakashi opened the door to disclose a murky stony staircase. The air happened to be strangely frosty, and the deeper he stepped down the narrow spiral stairs, the colder the air became. Unconsciously rubbing his upper arms for warmth, Kakashi fumbled in the jet-black darkness to follow the declining steps. When he left the last stair and reached the bottom, the iciness was nearly to the point of unbearable. Forming another jutsu to light up the room, Kakashi was stunned to realize that he was standing in a large freezing chamber with a huge ice at the center of the room and numerous smaller ices messily leaning on around the room's walls. On the face of the biggest ice, an extremely outlandish incantation circle that Kakashi himself never once witnessed was carved deeply. Withdrawing from all his previous experiences, he just guessed that this was a kind of sealed charm. Examining the chamber's walls, he realized that they also made from a very special type of granite which could keep the room's temperature at its lowest point.

Kakashi's head was swamped by thousands of questions: Why do Naruto and Sakura need a clandestine chamber in the house? What is that spell? What do they want to do with it? – But he had no time to find out now as the freezing air had been biting his fingers, his toes and icing up his nose. The coldness inside this room was extraordinary. If one used the phase "to be frozen to the marrow" to describe it, it would still be an understatement. For such a skilled ninja like Kakashi who had been through countless extreme kinds of weathers and climates, this frostiness could be compared to the worst time when he nearly lost his life in Snow Country with a severe injury on his back. If he could remember; this ice seemed to be the legendary ice-stone in the eternal snowy mountain – Shirahima of the Snow Country, which could remain its ultimate frostiness for five hundred years after being removed from Shirahima. Question after question continued to overwhelm Kakashi's mind like a sudden outbreak of disease, still, he had to hurriedly leave the room and moved the wardrobe back to its original place.

The guest-room's temperature was just cool and pleasant 15 minutes ago now became oddly hot and stuffy in comparison with the chambers. Kakashi sat down at the bed and mulled over what he had just seen. On the way discovering a secret, he happened to know another secret.


End file.
